Nanny Diaries

Chapter 9 - Melting

Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could I be so stupid?

Because I'm a complete idiot. 

Why?

Well, I bet you know why. I let Zack walk out after the sweet gesture, leaving me standing in the kitchen with my ridiculous morning get-up, my hands holding my yellow raincoat. 

Great way to start off the morning, Lauren. 

I push the door open, stomping into the living room. If I were a cartoon, smoke would be coming out of my ears by now. 

"What did you do?" I growl at Shelby. She can tell I really am mad, because she backs up a couple feet. 

I step forward, covering Matt's ears with my palms before spitting out words the equivalent of a fire-breathing dragon's. "Why did you do that? I had Lisa on my back, now you? Do any of you understand that I can't have a relationship at this point? Do you not see the beach ball under my shirt?" I ask, pointing to my stomach. 

"You're just the baby mama." Shelby argues, causing me to think of that movie. I saw it awhile ago, and for some reason it bugs me to think I'm now the same as Amy Poehler in that movie. Except, the baby was hers in the end, not Tina Fey's. "And I can tell you like him. When have you ever thought about yourself, Lauren?" she pleads.

"This isn't about me." I shake my head. 

"But why can't a part of it be?"

"It can't."

"Okay, I'm going to break it down for you.", she says, getting serious. "Zack is head over heels for you, and you're the same. Literally. He saved you," she pauses to poke my stomach. "and the baby, twice. That gives the guy some serious brownie points. Lauren, ever since high school you haven't so much as looked at a guy! You're pregnant, but you've never even kissed someone. Why is that so wrong? Because you're an adult. You need to start living and realizing life is for you too, not just this family."

 I stare at her, my eyes searching hers. I realize that she's right. 

"Ever since freshman year, you've become this block of ice that no one can figure out how to break through. To melt. He can. Let him in, Lace."

I see how sad she is, how truly sincere she's being. I understand. It's true, since I started high school I've been closed off. But there's a reason for that.

I shake my head, returning to the real world where Matt is squirming for me to let him go. I release him, smiling down as he runs to Shelby and grabs for Benny. She relents, but only because she's trying to gauge my reaction. 

I'm distracted by the clown horn honk of my cell phone, the ringtone I programmed it for. I look down to see a text from Angie. 

I can't make it today. Got held up. Anyone else to go and help you out? So sorry.

I smile, shaking my head. I can't really say this surprises me. But it is her own baby. You'd think that'd be top priority. 

"You want to be my plus one for an ultrasound?" I ask Shelby.

A mischievous smirk spreads over her face like butter, and I can immediately tell what she's thinking. 

"Oh! Oh, no. Our first date is not going to be to the OB-GYN. It's my obstetrician! That's stuff for married couples!" I exclaim. 

"Well, I'm not going with you." she says stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"Call him, Lauren."

I lift my eyebrow in surprise as I realize who spoke. Matt. 

"Matt? You want me to call this guy to come with me to see your unborn baby brother or sister? A guy you barely know? You'll hardly let me go to the grocery store without you, much less a date."