Nanny Diaries

Chapter 3 - Changes

Whoever invented peanut butter, I really should thank them, because it's my new best friend. As a kid, I positively hated it. But now? Now that I've got a bun in my oven, it's my new favorite food. Next to popcorn in pickle juice. Do not ask why. 

I had to make an emergency run to the store the other day for more Jif. And Skippy. Both are just so good. And some celery. 

Matt is at school, and I didn't even bother getting dressed this morning. My fluffy black sweatpants and Snoopy sweater are also my new best friends, not judging my growing midriff. George is in the kitchen, he's been great at helping me out. I've been feeling pretty good so far; it's been four weeks since I found out I was pregnant, which makes me a little over seven weeks along. Today, however, I woke up with no energy, so George took Matt to school for me. 

I press 'play' on the remote and my other favorite movie starts. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. I've seen it so many times, but it doesn't matter, I could watch it a million more. 

The opening scene stretches across the screen, and I curl my feet up, a bottle of water half empty sitting on the table next to me. 'Budapest' flashes across the screen and Agent Hanaway bursts through the door on a roof, flanked by two obvious bad guys. He jumps off the roof, shooting while he goes down. They both collapse, and he lands on a blow-up on the ground. 

He walks around the corner, checking his bag to make sure the file is still there. He grins, sure the danger has passed. A woman comes into our view, click-clacking down the alley in a trench coat and heels. Hanaway looks down as his phone beeps, then looks back up at the woman, in time to see her cock a gun and shoot him four times. He sways, and she catches him, looking as if she's hugging him. But she just shoots him twice more and grabs his bag, leaving him to die. 

I press the pause button and cover my mouth with my hands, containing a sob. I've seen this movie countless times, and never been phased by it. The shooting, death, usually I actually enjoy seeing the action. I feel like crying my eyes out right now, though. 

"Lauren? Are you okay?" George asks, coming into the living room. 

"Y-yes." I lie, scraping the tears from my cheeks. 

"You don't look okay. What's wrong?" 

In answer, I point to the screen. 

"What? Are you crying for Tom Cruise? I'm sure he'll be fine with the separation, eventually..." George says confusedly. 

"No!" I say exasperatedly. "The-the movie." I say. 

"Oh! Is it upsetting you? You've seen it hundreds of times."

"Yeah. For some reason, it makes me want to cry. Seeing him-" I gesture to the screen, where Hanaway lays on the ground, six bullet holes in his jacket. "It's just-so sad!" 

I feel a wave of nausea hit me like a tsunami and gulp, jumping off the couch. "Excuse me." I dash off to the bathroom, where I throw up all my breakfast and my weird snacks. This is the first of my morning sickness I've experienced, and it's not too bad. I can't stand throwing up, but I know I have to endure that and much more in order to get a healthy baby. The only comfort is that the doctor told me that morning sickness is a good sign that my hormone levels are where they should be. I compose myself, wetting a towel and wiping my face before I head back out to the living room. 

"Are you alright?"

I feel my stomach settle slightly, but my head is spinning, I'm suddenly hungry again, I want to lie down, I need to put a sports bra on, and I'm cold out of nowhere. Baby On Board Express, just on time. "Um, I don't know." I say honestly.