Dazai x Chuuya Oneshot stories

A Christmas disaster

Perhaps letting Dazai decorate the tree was not a good idea.

Perhaps Chuuya should not levitate the candles at dinner.

Perhaps Akutagawa and Atsushi should never work together on the roast turkey.

And perhaps there will never be a quiet a Christmas ever again.

Why Dazai Osamu should never be in charge of decorating the tree

Tinsel and bobbles and stars and presents.

He sighed. 

What should he do with this? Chibi may have asked him to not try anything stupid, please and thank you, but he wasn't going to do anything downright outrageous!

Looking for new ways to commit suicidal behavior was not silly! It took planning and perseverance to come up with these things! It took stamina to launch yourself off a cliff well! Drowning required knowing the depth of the water and double suicide will need to get a lady friend first!

....so he decided to try to hang himself with tinsel on the tree.

Hey, at least the bobbles stayed on.

Why Chuuya should not levitate candles... or anything

Right.

So that bastard tried to ruin everything by wrecking the tree to kill himself, huh? No worries. This dinner will be spectacular with floating candles! It looks awesome so you might as well try.

The turkey could be levitated too, now I think about it.

What could be better than mystical floating turkeys....!

Damn, that mackerel's rubbing off me.

Speak of the devil and he will appear...

"Chuuya! Let me kiss you! You're so short that you're cute!" The drunk suicidal detective ran straight at me. "Mwah!"

Funny thing is, I had just levitated the burning candles.

"Damned Dazai, NO!"

And

         Everything

                                 Burst 

                                                 Into

                                                                    Flames......

Why there was no turkey that Christmas 

Let me describe it in four words.

Akutagawa, terrified-tiger, windows.

.........

Akutagawa used Rashoumon on the turkey, Atsushi turned into a tiger out of fright, nearly set the room on fire, the turkey smashed through the window and Akutagawa tried to kill Atsushi as he runs out of the smashed window to eat the turkey.

I have no more words.

Hope you enjoyed that! Sorry for the late update, I know it's no where near Christmas but here is a silly idea that I had. I will write a one shot especially for Christmas when the time comes.