It's not who I am... - Frerard

Chapter 9

Frank

I groan and open my eyes slowly. I frown when I see black walls instead of green ones. What the heck happened to my room? What- Oh wait. This is Gerard's room. I suddenly remember everything that happened yesterday and I tense. Gerard knows my secret. Gerard knows what's wrong with me... He said he didn't care. Should I believe him? What if he only said it to calm me down, but that he's actually disgusted as fuck with me? What if-...

"Frank! Frank calm down!" I hear a voice saying to me. I feel a pair of arms hugging me and suddenly my head is against someone's chest. I can't see or hear who it is, all I see is a blur, all I hear is a strange beep.

"Frank!" someone screams again. I try to look at the person who tries to reach me, but the blur becomes worse. Then something very cold is thrown against my face and I gasp in shock. It's water. Someone threw water in my face. I wipe away the droplets of water from my eyes and open them, making myself ready to scream at the asshole who thought it was funny to throw water in my face, but then I see Gerard's worried face.

"Frankie? Gosh you're okay?" he asks and grabs my hand. I just nod.

"Yeah... I'm... I'm fine I guess. What happened? Why did you do this?" I say, pointing to my soaking wet hair and clothes.

"You were having a panic attack. I tried to reach you but you didn't hear or see me... I thoughy maybe water would help."

"I guess it did..." I say quietly. I remember my panic attack just vaguely. It was about-

"Gerard?"

"Yes, Frankie?"

"Did you... Did you mean what you said about me wanting to be a girl yesterday?" I ask him, afraid of what his answer could be. Gerard smiles, nods and hugs me again.

"I meant it Frank. Really. I don't give shit about it, as long as you're happy."

"I'm not happy." I whisper and I feel tears coming up.

"I know baby, I know. But I'm going to help you to become happy. You'll be okay, I promise." Gerard whispers softly and then I start crying.

"W-why are you so s-sweet to me?"

"Because I love you." Gerard says, making me tense.

"Y-you love me?"

"Yes. I know it's stupid, we only met a few days ago, but I think I love you."

"I... I..." I stutter awkwardly and still crying. "I..."

"You don't have to say it back already Frank. I know you're confused. You'll say it to me when you're ready." Gerard whispers and gives me a kiss on my forehead. I smile timidly to him.

"Thank you." I whisper and Gerard smiles. Then the smell of fresh bread reaches my nose and my stomach makes a weird sound. Gerard laughs and I turn read.

"You're hungry?" he asks and I nod shyly. Gerard smiles and takes my hand.

"Let's go and eat then! My mom always bakes fresh bread on sundays." Gerard smiles. I smile back and we walk to the kitchen, hand in hand.

Gerard's mom stares at me, Gerard and our intertwined hands and shrugs.

"Goodmorning boys! Ready for breakfast?" she asks with such a warm voice I melt. She makes me feel home. I smile and nod.

We take place at the table and start eating. It's a really relaxed breakfast. It's so different from the ones with my parents...

But of course, after a while Gerard's mother asks me the question I was expecting since the moment I entered the kitchen.

"Why didn't you want to sleep at your own house?"

I tense and look down. Gerard grabs my arm and runs his thumb over it to reassure me.

"It's your own choice whether you tell them or not, but they will accept you. I promise." he says and I sigh. Maybe I should just believe Gerard. If they really accept me, it'd be a lot easier. I could be myself here...

"I... I may look like a boy but... uhm... I'm transgender... I don't want to be a boy... Gerard found out yesterday and I freaked out... I thought he was going to reject me, just like my parents did when I told them, but Gerard didn't and consoled me instead. I felt kinda broken and needed someone I could trust, and that someone was Gerard." I explain, still looking down.

"Oh poor little kid..." Gerard's mother whispers and she comes over to me and gives me a hug. Mikey and Gerard's dad tell me that they're totally fine with it. I start to cry and to smile at the same time.

"T-thank you so much!" I stutter and I laugh, wiping my tears away. I look at them, and I don't see hate in their eyes, which makes me even more happy.

Then Gerard's mother suddenly claps her hand and almost drags me of my chair.

"Come with me!" she laughs and takes me upstairs, to her room. She opens her closet and smiles at me.

"So what do you want to wear today?"

My mouth drops.