Wonderment - zagene

13

It's been about two weeks since Zach and I had started dating. Everything is going great, I've never felt better. We sleep at each other's houses almost always, leaving to work together and coming back the same. I couldn't say that'd I've ever been this fixated on someone as well.
Once Ned and Keith got slightly more used to us dating, we all got incredibly close just as we were before. That lead to the idea of us going to a bar tonight, just the four of us. That meant drinking again, which I haven't done seriously since the night I got together with Zach. I wouldn't admit it, but I'm slightly nervous for the ordeal.
It's now the end of the work day, Zach and I sit together, working on editing and researching for videos. There's an underlaying anxious excited-ness between us, which isn't capable of being ignored. I try to emerge myself with work, making up for the days I missed.
Eventually, the time for us to leave arrives. I practically jump out of my chair, excited to leave. We bid Ned and Keith a goodbye and grab our things. The walk to my car is quiet, but not uncomfortable.
We drive to my house listening to some indie band Zach's been into. He sings along quietly, which I can't help but smile at. We arrive what seems like quickly, our minds easily occupied.
We head inside quickly, beginning to get ready almost immediately. We were leaving an hour from now, which gives me barely enough time. I kick off my shoes and practically drag Zach to my closet.
We have clothes at each other's houses now, which helps when it comes to situations like this. Zach throws on some jeans and a button up shirt.  I throw some back jeans, a grey shirt, and a leather jacket on. That is, after I finally figure out what I want to wear.
I do my hair, which is the harder part. I spend fourty five minutes in that by itself. Zach sits in the bathroom with me to keep me company. After we finally get out, we get our money, phones, and shoes together. Altogether, it leaves us 5 minutes to get there. Zach begins driving to the bar that's about ten minutes away.
That leaves us only five minutes late, not bad.
We get there in the time predicted. Neither us of talk much during the trip, but either way I still drive with one hand, the other connected to Zach's. When we finally arrive, I have a hard time retracting it.
We find Ned and Keith in no time, they stand side by side in front of the entrance to the bar. They welcome us with an excited 'Hey.' and a series of closed mouth smiles.
They lead the way into the bar and Zach and I follow. The music is loud, but soft enough for us to still be able to talk. We scout out a table near the back.
Almost as soon as we get settled at our table, I feel a pull towards the bar. Zach eyes me wearily as I suggest we go. How could he take me to a bar and expect me to not drink? Nonetheless, he follows me as I weave through the crowd of sweaty people dancing. When we sit down on the barstools, he turns to me and says a simple:
"It's okay that you want to drink, I just want you to be safe."
Knowing he's worried about me makes me worried, I reply "I'll be okay." To reassure both him and myself.
He orders a bloody Mary, I order a shot of jäger and a long island iced tea for the side. We toast, to having a good time with our best friends for the night, and to our relationship. I take the shot quickly, it burns on the way down. I chase it with the long island iced tea.
We decide to join our friends again. When we reunite, they have accumulated drinks as well. They seem to be eager for something. With some conversation between the two I figure out the source of it.
"Let's go dance, come on it'll be fun." Keith practically drags us, Ned mimicking his behavior.
Zach and I agree, being pulled into the overwhelmingly large crowd of people. I take my drink with me, the alcohol I've consumed so far doing nothing. I take sips as my body moves along to the shitty pop song playing.
By the time I realize it, my drink's empty and my dancing is becoming trashier by the second. I've also happened to lose my friends and boyfriend within the gargantuous hoard of people.
I take this as an opportunity to take a small break and grab another shot, or two. The alcohol I've already had has fogged my brain, but not to the point of being drunk. The double shot from the bar changes that quickly, though. I quickly return to the crowd.
By the time I know it, I'm gone. The five types of alcohol all hit me at the same time. This becomes evident when another person's body is rubbing up to mind. Grinding in the type of way that is barely classified as dancing.
I look to see who it is I'm dancing with. It's a woman younger than me, she's in a dress and heaps of makeup. Possibly one of the gogo dancers the bar hired.
Something in my brain is screaming at me to stop, begging me, in fact. That voice is almost entirely drowned out by the alcohol I've consumed. I continue dancing on the woman, she seems to enjoy it.
So much in fact, she invites me to the bathroom. As I walk with her, that same voice is pleading me to stop. Don't do it, it's a very bad idea. I ignore it and walk in with her.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zach's point of view

Eugene, Ned, Keith and I are having a great time. Dancing, talking, drinking. That is, until I come to find Eugene's missing. This is certainly not the first time this is happened. Ghost Eugene is a well know drunk personality he possesses.
I'm not worried about it, that is until a half an hour has passes and he still has yet to reappear. I give a questioning glance to the other guys, they shrug in return. I decide to look for the missing man.
I search in the crowd, in which I'd be able to spot him in easily. Nothing. I check at the bar, nothing. I give up. I happened to have to pee, which is one place I haven't checked.
I make my way through the crowd to the restroom, still keeping my eye out for my boyfriend. I sigh as I push open the door, frustrated at my luck.
I stop dead in my tracks as moaning fills my ear. I close the door softly, taking my opportunity to eavesdrop. You can clearly see a woman on her knees and a pair of male's shoes under the stall. I listen to moaning for a good few minutes, the streak is broken as the man the man calls out:
"Oh fuck, yeah, keep going." My mind freezes, it can't be. "Just like that."
That's not what I think it is. No, no fucking way possible. That is not Eugene in that stall with that woman. No. I can tell his voice from a mile away. The realization hits me. Eugene is in the stall with a woman. I storm out of the bathroom. Everything hurts yet I'm completely numb at the same time. I walk straight to the door of the club, not caring about anything else.
Fuck, he drove me. I realize as I look for the vehicle. Walking it is, it's not that far anyway. My feet begin down the street, struggling to carry me as all I feel is pain.
I feel as if I'm floating as I walk. There's constant questions occupying my mind. Was I not good enough for him? Was I just some game? Was a blowjob that fucking worth it? The weight of every question I can think up hits me at once. My breathing becomes shallow, tears prickling at me eyes. Great, an anxiety attack.
Everything becomes a blur the moment I arrive at the door of my house. The memory of a majority of the walk not registering in my mind. I open it to darkness, I couldn't be more relieved.
My body drags me to my bed, I spot his clothes on the floor next to it. I kick them with all of the might in my body. I practically throw myself into the covers. The tears in my eyes finally begin to fall.