To you, my love.

4 - Places Without You

August 2013

Dear Briella,

Mum drove me to the airport today, it was the longest ride of my life. After we put my stuff in the car, she had a short breakdown session and we said a quick prayer before we hit the road. She wouldn't let me go once it was time to board the plane.

You know I kept trying to pry her hands off me, saying she was embarrassing me and that I'm a big boy now who is very capable of taking care of himself.

But truth is, I wasn't ready to let her go either. I just didn't want my adulthood questioned by the public eye you know.

She kissed me so many times that I eventually lost count. She was so all over me.

But can you blame her? I have the effect on people.

As I turned to the stairs that I knew would lead me to where officials were waiting to accept me onboard, I had to take one last glance at not just mum, but also at this place that made and broke me.

For so long, I've dreamt of leaving this place, to find somewhere that was made simply for me, for us. And just as I'm about to leave to find this place, I freeze and so does time.

What if this was the place that was made for me?

What if we are all alive to be built and broken and then rebuilt again for the cycle to be repeated? What if this was the place specially made for me, for us, for our undoing?

Because the truth is, there's no place for me without you Bri. A world where you aren't laughing with and at me, isn't a world worth pondering over.

I don't know that there's anything left out there for me. I don't know that anyone would ever accept me the way you did. But I'll spend my life wondering this mediocre world because I know nothing will ever come close to who you were to me.

P.S, My roommate keeps trying to convince our friends that I have a diary, I wonder what he's talking about.

Love, Peter.