Many singles always expected when they will finally have a lover (again). An experienced ones will not find it hard because they know how to find another potential boyfriend/girlfriend after their failure before. Either going on a blind date, going to a club, ask their friend to match-making them, or even join an online dating apps. So many ways to get over the last relationship even it is need some time. But, for someone who never have a lover, they sometimes find it hard even for initiate the talk with the one they like. The main problem is, you don't have a confidence.
To be a confidence, the first step is to love ourselves. No matter how we look, think, and act, we still must love just the way we are. Yes, it's true, people will have an attraction for the first time is all about your appearance. Your face, fashion style, hair, body shape, and other physical things. It's not disagreeable. But be honest, you do look at those things first too, don't you? That's why people called it as love at the first sight. Because you like them at the first time, and it makes you get attracted by them. So... why would you angry if they just like you or not from the first glance they saw you. It's acceptable, right?
Back to the first step, try to love ourselves before you ready to love others. When we fully love our face, our body, our thoughts, etc, someone also will love us just the way we are. Others will think that we are a cool person with all the things we have. Confuse about how to love ourselves? You can try to chant "I love you" in the mirror. You can say "I can do it" every time you have something to do. You can also say "It's okay" when something go wrong. Try simple things to love yourself. Stand up for your existence in this life. If it's not you, then who else will do it? If you want to depend on something, depend on God. The one and only who create us. Don't depend on human, because someday we will be disappointed. Human has a lot of limitations. That's why I strictly say, we just only can depend either to ourselves or to God. If you have friends or families who you can depend on, that's good. But think about it as a bonus. Don't expect too high. Or you will get hurt badly. Cause I've been there and I don't want you feel the same like I did.
After you love yourself, next step is believe that you are so special. Human has advantages and disadvantages, but we are special on our own. The simple and common life we have, maybe it sounds luxurious for others. Vice versa, luxury life we have, maybe it sounds nothing to others. Don't always look up to the sky, try to look down once for a while. Special things can be seen from various sides and have different meaning for each individual. God creates human differently. We are one of a kind. Even twins has different personality. Not a single human 100% the same. We are indeed different, that's why we are special. Please take a note!! ;P
After we love ourselves, believe that we are special, now I can say that you already have a confidence. Get a list what kind of boyfriend/girlfriend you like. Write as detailed as possible. Write her/his height, backgrounds, traits, personalities, hobbies, religion, work, even the place their born. You won't get a lover, if you didn't know what you wanted. When people approach you, you will reject them before you know it. It's because you don't know what kind of lover do you want and need. Just for having fun? OK then you can do as you please. But if you really want a serious ones, specify them with your liking. Of course, you maybe won't have a lover that resembles all the list you have, but at least you know what are you searching for in another person. It doesn't matter if he's only have two until five criteria, but that's according to your wishes. How glad you will be then..
Just don't be pessimistic, keep trying, keep moving forward, keep learning, keep doing what you love, even keep doing your weirdness. There will be a perfect time, perfect place, and perfect lover for you ahead. Time is ticking, but we still have a long way to go. Just don't slack off, so we won't regret for the things we didn't do. It's okay to regret after we trying. There always be another time for us. The best time for our own. Cheer up, buddies!!!
Let's #helpothers to gain confidence to find a lover, starting from ourselves.
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Ginn, October 13//2018
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#helpothers
Non-FictionSometimes we need help from others to solve our problems. That's why I started this #helpothers movement to give a little hand for you. So that you won't feel alone and feel being helped by my words. I believe we're strong enough to go through this...
