What Lies Beneath the Illusion- Thorki Fanfic (Prequel to TGTPTW)

Chapter 4

 I wake to a knock on the door "Banner! Breakfast!"

 I grumble at the pounding headache and walk towards the door. As I look in the mirror, I find that I haven't transformed.

 After a few seconds of trying, I loose hope and sink to the ground.

 "Banner?" Thor asks, knocking on the door again "Are you going to eat or not?"

 "No." I reply through the door, trying my best to sound like Banner "Not feeling well!"

 "I can stay with you?" he offers, but I practically beg him to go "Alright, fine. Just get some sleep."

 And with that, he walks away, and I fall back asleep.

~

 I awaken to find the racoon standing over me "Norms, what the hell?" I hiss, sitting up and tightening the blanket around myself. Steve and Natasha sit on my couch "You could have given some warning!"

 "Thor said that Banner isn't feeling well." The racoon states "I guess Banner is really sick, seeing as he's blue, and has extreme hair growth... and isn't Banner."

 "Seriously, just leave!" I hiss, causing my head to split and a groan to escape my lips. With a sigh, I crawl out of bed with the sheet wrapped around me.

 "What's wrong with you?" Natasha asks, following me.

 "My head feels like it's being crushed like a tomato." I sigh as I pour half a bottle of pills in my hand and dry swallowing them "I can't transfigure."

 "Has this happened before?" she asks.

 "Yeah, its happened a few times." I sigh, before pulling on some pajama pants "I should be fine by tomorrow."

 "What is it?" She asks.

 "My heart knows something that my brain doesn't want to." I state, pulling my hair back "There's a part of a Jotun brain that deals with emotion and connects to their hearts." I shrug "When it tries to hide some from the rest of my brain, it starts to hurt. The part of my brain that controls my magic, is right next it."

 "So, how are you going to figure out?" She asks.

 "I don't know." I sigh, scratching my hairy chest "Probably just meditate. That's what I've done the other times."

~

 As I try to hack into my own mind, a voice pops up in my head "How have you not figured it out yet?"

 "Shut up, McFly. He'll get it eventually." another voice states.

 "Sure he will." The first voice states, unconvinced. That's when I catch it. It's to second rate wizard from New York.

 "This diva will figure it out." the second insists. That's when I remember the man of iron.

 When they go away, my mind drifts and I just wait for anything. But the only thing that comes to mind, is Thor.

 The way he's been hurting since the end of the war. The way we've chatted everyday since.

 That was a month ago.

 And then my mind slips back to the first day I was here. When Thor and I fought and his pants ripped.

 With a chuckle, I let my mind continue, under I reach the moment were I allowed myself to remember the moment of clarity I received when I felt his penis.

 The pleasure of it.

 That's when I feel something I haven't felt since I was in a pub in Italy. I feel my pants growing tight.

 "You figured it out, finally." Strange calls and I open my eyes to find him sitting on my couch, before leaning forward and smirking "All you wanna do is have a big fat one up your ass. Your brother's, in fact."

 "They're not brothers." Stark insists as he sits on the edge of my bed.

 Instantly, I know my mind is playing tricks on me.

 There's a knock on the door. When I check it, it shows Natasha leaning against the frame "What's happening?" I ask.

 "I told Thor that I'd tell you that it's supper time." she states, before raising an eyebrow "Are you good?"

 "About that." I speak, before turning into Banner "Does this place have a gym?"

~

 As I walk into the gym, Natasha sighs "I'll stand guard. Two knocks mean people are coming."

 With that, she walks out and I look around the gym. When I spot a punching bag, I walk towards it and start to bandage my knuckles as my true form fades in.

 "You know you want to split those knuckles." Straight smirks as I take the first punch at the bag.

  "At least he can use his knuckles." Stark scoffs at Strange's disability "I doubt you can throw a sweet left hook... or a right one."

 "Can you two stop fighting?" I grip the bag at the sound of these new voice "He doesn't need to turn into Olivia Grey."

 "I thought I told you enough with the pop-culture references." Tony insists as I turn to the teenager "Reindeer Games, this is Peter. AKA, Spiderman."

 "He's the nice part of your shattered psyche." Strange states "Playboy millionaire is the understanding part of your psyche."

 "And the wizard is the self-loathing part of you." There's a large crash that causes me to jump. As the Hulk comes into view, Stark smirks "Big guy is the raging part of you."

 "I'm the intellectual part of you." Banner states, sitting on a bench "It's quite humorous. You being me."

 From the rafters, Barton slides down a rope "I'm the part of you that hides their feelings, or doesn't feel anything or is just straight up tired."

 "It looks like Inside Out in here." Peter states, looking around the room.

 "Disney? Really?" Tony asks as I return to the punching bag. As I wail on it, Tony sighs "Don't worry, we won't always all be here. For now, there's only me, the wizard, Banner, and the big guy."

 With every grunt I let out, the Hulk does the same. Eventually, I start kneeing and kicking the bag.

 "How could I like my own brother?" I ask, anger boiling in my blood as I wail on the bag.

 "He's not your biological brother." Tony states, snacking on his yogurt covered berries.

 "You can't control you you're in love with." Banner insists "You can merely control if you tell them."

 "I would tell him." the kid pipes up "He's hurting without you. He might be happy with you."

 "You can't tell him!" Barton hisses from the rafters "It would make you seem weak."

 "Weaker than you already are." Strange shrugs.

 "SHUT UP!" I scream and they all disappear.

 "Loki?" Natasha asks and I turn to her, panting for air, blood covering my knuckles.

 "Are who are you?" I ask, receiving a confused look from her "Are you the nurturer? Coming to care for my bloody knee when I fall?" I shake my head to her "I don't need another person in my head, making me think of how fucked up I am. I know I'm fucked up. And I know I'm scared of being vulnerable to real people. But you're not real, so why would I confide in you?"

 She gives me a terrified look and it dawns on me that she's real. As tears start to slip from my eyes, she steps forward "Come on, let's get you to bed."