Cinderella's Diary

EIGHT

EIGHT

            Momma’s call came unexpected. Her news, though, wasn’t so much a shock to me. I had hoped that Patrick’s sudden silence after turning him down was the end of it. It had to be a clear indication that we only ought to be friends. I wasn’t stupid to consider a man who wasn’t even sure of his feelings—for either me or Katherine. I shall not be moved by melodramatic speeches that Shakespeare could write a hell lot better. But in the way that he had said it, his outright declaration of interest in me. I must admit…I’ve never had a man tell it to my face. As bravely, honestly and plainly as that…and for a dwindling moment, I had wished it were real…

But it was not. And I refuse to put fantasies up in my head. I did that with Charles before. Look where that got me, in the epiphany of falling in second choice. Not something good. If anything it tampered with my pride, and all I stood for as a woman. Good grief! I sounded too condescending even for my own thoughts that felt sour to my taste. I wasn’t usually like this. Boys didn’t matter. I didn’t even learn to like them till I was past puberty. And that was saying a lot, since ladies were mostly about romance. Not really my strongest point. So, when mama said that Patrick wanted to come over…for a proposition. I thought I’d heard wrong. The man was really intending to do the traditional Filipino courting, something I really wanted for myself. But, not from a half-hearted man…I wanted a love so true. That wasn’t centered in physical beauty, lust and selfishness. I wanted something tried and true. Heck, even my parents weren’t all that lucky. I was in third year college when they almost split. Its deep scar lingered in my subconscious; poppa’s mysterious comings and goings; or totally not coming home. His mistress and her child that momma adopted long after her death. My baby brother Julian was poppa’s bastard in truth.

I look at the little boy. And yes, this little one was indeed my brother. He had papa’s eyes and all. I thought I was my papa’s look alike. Having been the only child for my entire childhood…I never knew what it was like to care for a younger sibling. It just didn’t come out naturally for me. Especially, that momma used to cry rivers of tears over it. There’s this little prayer in me, to wait for a man who would truly want me…in the godly sense at least. My godmother often explained that women had to be the godly ones to learn to deal with men. She was right. No argument there. So I was highly displeased with the notion of having to face Patrick…and his pompous proposal. I told him I didn’t need it. Didn’t need him to court me….I’ve been single for the longest time. I wouldn’t know or want to deal with his drama, especially if he was taking Katherine in the picture.

I sighed as I entered our spacious parking lot. Not really wanting to get down from my Winconnsten, but the inevitable had to happen, so here goes. “Ma,” I called “You sent for me…” my eyes quickly trailed to the classic silver Mercendez Benz that wasn’t one of our cars. Patrick’s really here… as always, momma run excitedly to greet me. As if my return was a motion picture scene and the prodigal child has returned home. I was home most of the time these days. But momma missed me just the same. “Why’d you allow Dela Fiente in our house?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Because he wants to get to know you better,” she said with glistening eyes. And I somehow searched the sun high up the sky. There must be reason for the gleam in them. “He wants to court you.”

“Yes, he told me…” I said in a bored tone “You should know ma, he’s seeing Katherine too.”