You Don't Know Me

You Don't Know Me 4

So I see that I'm getting more reads and votes! Awesome. I hope I get a bigger crowd, so tell everyone about this story. Please. I finally figured out the entire plot for this story but, it may change a bit here and there since my fingers like to write whatever they want to sometimes. (: Tell me what you think about this chapter.

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Thanks and here is the newest of the new.

Chapter four: (GASP!)  

You Don't Know Me

That night as I laid in bed, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about Sebastian. I didn't even know why. He seemed nice enough, and my uncle was friends with his dad , so he couldn't be horrible. Maybe we could be friends, or something. Nothing more though, I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm not even ready to live but, I'm trying.  Emotions are numb to me. My laughs are there, and I might smile but, I don't feel the emotion that should come with them. Since the crash,  I've sunken into my own world, and everyone around me just keeps living. Their lives keep on moving, and I am buried beneath grief; alone, no one knows what I feel. I am lost and depressed, and when I look into eyes of the people, who know, all I see is pity. I couldn't live with it anymore - especially in my hometown. Everyone tried to be my friend, it was only because of 'it'. They tried to comfort me. That's why I moved. Here, no one knows me. They don't know when I'm lying or when I'm hiding my emotions. They can't see when I'm hurt, or when I'm holding back tears. 

That's what I tried back home but, everyone saw through my disguise. They knew the real me. The girl who was energetic, always laughing and smiling, and helping people out. That wasn't me anymore. I've changed so much. My smiles are forced. I don't even know why I try to smile for others. Maybe I don't want them to see that I'm not okay. I don't want anyone to know that every morning when I wake up, I wish I was dead.  That I wish I died that day. That I don't want to try to survive anymore and even though, I say I don't want anyone to know, I do. I want someone to see how much pain that is inside of me. I want them to know that I'm holding in tears, and that all my smiles cause me so much pain.

Tears ran out of the corners of my eyes, gliding across my cheek, and hitting my pillow. I shut them tightly, and forced myself to sleep.

The next few days passed by. School was alright, I couldn't really focus. My algebra teacher decided that the project would be due sooner than he orginally planned. My chemistry teacher, Miss. Kay, chose me to help her this year. So, on my study period, I go to her room and we straighten out boxes or clean beakers. I've been working everyday after school at Russ's. I managed to sort almost all the shelves, they were disorganized, and the local customers have commented on the clean up. I've been trying to distance myself from Sebastian. I really don't want to get close to him. Even if we became friends, he'd start to ask questions, and I think it's for the best that he doesn't know.

"Hey Hun, how was work?" Norm's calming voice asked.  

"It was, It was great." I said looking down at my fingers. I was sitting on the couch, criss cross applesauce. In front of me the T.V. was airing an episode of some series but, I haven't really been watching it.

"Maddie? Do you want to talk about anything?" His voice echoed in my ears.

I shook my head, not looking up. Not able to look up. His eyes probably held pity and I couldn't stand to see it.  

"Maddie, I know how hard it is for you. Paul was my brother. You need to talk about this. You can't keep it inside of you. Talk to me." His voice wasn't harsh, it was mellow but, I still felt anger boil inside of me.  He didn't know how hard it was. He didn't know what it was like to lose your entire family. The only people in the world that I could count on were gone. He could never understand that or even begin to.