One
It was the most depressing moment in my life. Letting go of the girl whom I never really planned on letting go. But things change and relationships end. And I guess ours happened too fast. Too early.
'Tell me that you turned down the man
Who asked for your hand
'Cause you're waiting for me
And I know, you're gonna be away a while
But I've got no plans at all to leave'
I went home after I came from the bar. Again. I sat on the couch and just stared into the darkness of my empty pad. I can't help but think of what happened for the past months that we've been together. It was filled with happiness and all I could do now was to heave a deep sigh and just cry because those moments I shared with her were also moments that I caused her pain.
"You brought me happiness..." I recalled her words from the last time we talked.
"Yeah. But I was also the one who made you unhappy." I replied. I remembered how she smiles at me and caressed my cheeks the way she used to.
'And would you take away my hopes and dreams and just stay with me?'
That night when we had our last moment together... I can't help but to cry because it was the night I let her go.
FLASHBACK...
We were at the cliff where we would usually hangout even as friends. It was in Antipolo and we have both fell in love with that place because of the twinkling lights coming from the building all over Metro Manila.
"Julie..." I called her.
We were seated at the compartment of my SUV as we stared into the vast space before us.
"Hmm?"
I looked at her for a period of time and slowly held her hand.
"I'm letting you go, Julie." I whispered.
I knew that that was what she wanted a long time ago but I was too childish and too clingy that I never gave her what she wanted.
"Wh--" she looked at me, curiosity in her eyes.
"You've been asking for this a long time ago and I know that I've been hurting you over and over again..."
"Moe..."
"I'm letting you go Julie. I want you to be happy and I know that it's not with me. It will never be with me..."
She stared at me as tears started to fall from her eyes. Damn I'm making her cry again. I am one hell of a bullshit.
"I want to tell you that those months we spent together were the best months of my life. You gave me the happiness I've been looking for and you gave color to my black and white life. Moe, you made me feel special and I know how much of an effort that is to you. I know that you weren't a one-woman kind of guy but you tried and you made me feel the love you can give. Thank you. For the memories we spent with each other. For the heartaches, the sweet moments, those petty fights and the little things you did for me. Thank you for making me feel loved. And I'm so sorry for everything."
"I'm sorry, Julie..." I started crying as well and she held my face and planted a kiss on my cheek.
"We all make mistakes Elmo. And I forgive you. Thank you for giving me the closure I needed. For finally letting me go."
I sniffed and wiped my tears away as I looked at her for the last time. This would be the last time that I can call her mine.
"Baby, this isn't goodbye right? We'll still be friends?" I asked her.
