ʟᴏᴠᴇsɪᴄᴋ ʙʟᴜᴇs | ᵗʳᶦˣʸᵃ

two

i faltered a cold breath. my lungs seemed to be filled with icy air as i inhaled. the atmosphere between the three of us were tense and awkward. with the girls in front of me smirking indignantly at me in their wake, utterly speechless and shocked at their sudden suggestion. my mouth shook and quivered a sudden repent. "a s-sugar daddy?" i looked down at my feet and fidgeted my hot pink claw like fingernails.

"well more like a sugar mommy, but yeah!" violet clapped her hands together in excitement and i flinched at that. "sugar mommy? i just told you i was straight..." i held the last word for longer than i expected. i questioned my existence for a hot minute and took a deep breath. a warm breath escape my untouched lips. i shook my head at myself but only pearl seemed to noticed my gesture.

"look, trixie, if you don't want to get too attached you need to be with someone out of your comfort zone. someone who's not usually your... type?" pearl said in a more asking way rather than an advice or a recommendation. i nodded. "i get it." even though i didn't, just to freshen the air that surrounds us in this exact moment. a thin layer of sheen sweat now enveloping my whole face. a droplet dripped and i wiped in a millisecond so no one should've noticed.

"good." violet smiled and stroked pearl's leg and knee. "i swear to god if this is your way of making me gay, i'm running away." i joked at them, trying to break the awkward and pressure filled tension surrounding our aura. they laughed at me and smiled with awfully cherry sweet lips. still a tad swollen from their coitus session just half an hour ago.

"how does this sugar daddy t-thing work anyway?" i flipped my curly blond hair backwards and got to a more serious tone. i finally kicked of my platforms and set them beside the oak door of our dormitory.

"it's basically money in exchange for your youth or sexual services, as simple as that." violet shrugged off. "with old men?" i asked, crinkling up my nose in slight distaste. "and women too..." violet trailed off. pearl's eyes directed hugely at violet. "you awfully know alot about this." pearl said in worry, though smirking despite the discomfort. violet raised one of her drawn eyebrows to pass and dust the exclamation off.

"i don't know about this violet." i bit my nails in full effect anxiety, tapping my right leg rapidly. violet put a hand on my shaking leg to calm me down. it did.

"trixie, this is your opportunity. we'll make you an account to apply for a sugar mommy tomorrow first thing in the morning, okay sweetie. she will hopefully pay back your college bills in less than two months. and you'll cut ties with her since you're not a raging lesbian. no strings attached and you'll thank us for it. i'm telling you trixie, this is for the better." violet exclaimed with damp and teary eyes glowing in the light of the light bulb above us. her cherry lips in an all too knowing pout that i can't resist.

"sure, i'm gonna have to think about it a little more though." i smiled and and sighed loud. "thank you so much for the advice, violet, pearl." i hugged them both in a bone crushing embrace and they smiled to each other. their faces slowly ascending into each other. indulging each other's touch and caresses.

i coughed loudly though they did not pull apart. "i'm gonna go now." i cheekily responded and slowly walked away from them into the bedroom. i closed the door and despite the barrier, violet's whimpers and soft pledges were still audible through the thick walls of the apartment.

i changed into my pajamas which normally consisted of a bralette, a thin pink sweater, and bedroom shorts. i laid myself down in my soft pink quilted bed and hugged a pillow. my thick legs suffocating it as it was also being slowly soaked with endless droplets of tears. the faucet in my eyes suddenly turned on and countless fountains of salty water poured through it. my vision blurry as i shifted my position so i was now glaring at the still lightened ceiling and turned of the lights. the only glow was now coming from the small window at the end of the shared room.

i buried my face in my hands as i let the wet substance seep through the skin of my palms. i sniffed and tried to stifle my cries. but i couldn't. i was pressured and rushed. all this talk about my future got the best of me. i don't know what to do with my life. back then it was fine but i'm in my last year of university and not ready for what's ahead of me.

i rise to a sitting position and i brushed my hands through my tangled honey hair. i stood up and went to the bathroom to take a warm shower. the whole apartment was silent with just pearl and violet's light snores and hushes. i smiled at that thought. it was so peaceful. the sweet noises served as my autonomous response in the dark dead of night.

i now undressed myself and put the clothes in the dry sink to be reused later again. i entered the shower and turned the knob on, only to forget that i failed to adjust the thermostat. arctic cold water splashed me and made me have goosebumps. i flexed in shock and quickly replaced the setting to warm.

i calmed down as soon as it became humid inside the cubicle. i scrubbed myself clean off the thoughts in my mind and it seemed to work. the warmth that surrounded me put me in a much better mindset than before. a good shower is my drug.

i finally finished and wrapped myself in my baby pink microfiber towel and patted myself dry. i clothed myself carefully and put some skincare on. my eyes now puffy and weighed down by sleepiness and dark lids. i slowly went back to the bedroom in forgotten companion. once more, i laid in bed and thought to myself, much less aggressively this time.

a need a solution. and i need it fast.