Deception

eleven*

// on the fifth day, which was a Sunday, it rained very hard. I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty //

I wake up in the morning to the sound of rain pelting on the glass window. The noise is comforting in a sense, so I lay in bed for a while longer than usual. It is a Sunday anyways.

I snuggle deeper into my blanket, closing my eyes as I feel a wave of content wash over me. I feel safe like this. In my bed, in my room, in my house. Safe from whatever that is out there. I feel like a little kid but it doesn't matter. Everything around me now feels okay.

It takes me a few hours to get out of bed, the place where I feel like I have nothing to worry about. The house is silent, and I wonder about everyone's whereabouts for a moment. A note on the kitchen table tells me that my parents and Kris have gone out, to who knows where. A light feeling washes over me, making me feel very giddy all of a sudden.

It is as though a positive vibe has found a way through my mind today. I make a quick cheese sandwich and eat in the living room, switching between multiple channels on the television as I try to find something interesting to watch. Everything seems boring this morning, and the most interesting channel I could find is actually Disney.

The show is something I don't recognize from my earlier childhood days, but it'll do. Munching on my food while watching a kids show definitely does not make feel any more mature but I can hardly care. It is a Sunday, and that translates in my mind to an I-don't-really-care day.

For the first time, I don't find myself wondering about certain things. It feels nice to just enjoy the day. I make myself a cup of tea as I sit on the kitchen counter, scrolling through YouTube videos.

And I can't help but think that the quote "laughing is the best medicine" really makes sense in my situation.

Multiple funny videos later, I can feel abs forming but I'm running out of videos to watch. I put my laptop on sleep mode and walk to the kitchen, hoping that we still have some cereal left.

I feel like it's not all that normal to be eating cereal in the middle of the day, but I don't think it matters much. Breakfast, lunch, same thing.

Luckily, there is still a some fruit loops left and I pray to the heavens for milk when I open the fridge.

And hallelujah they heard my prayers!

I scroll through my phone, looking for some entertainment but I don't have a lot of apps and I'm not really into social media. I have YouTube, Facebook and that's about it really.

I can already hear the people in my school mutter 'loser' under their breaths but who cares.

After failing to entertain myself, I make the decision to go out to a cafe near by. Kris has been out pretty much the entire day and without Georgia, I'm pretty much bored out of my mind.

Georgia.

Is it weird that even though the numbing pain of losing my best friend is still there, I feel fine? I don't feel like the walls and closing shut on me anymore.

That's good, right?

//

I find my way home after an hour and a half of pure boredom at the cafe. For the first twenty minutes, I just spend my time observing people. For the next forty minutes, I read through a book that I quickly lose interest in. It's so hard to find a good book to read these days.

To my surprise, Kris and my parents are already back when I come home. The sound of chatter can be heard as I step into the house. "Cass! Come over!" I hear Kris yell. Feeling slightly apprehensive, I quickly make my way to her and try to brush away the feeling.