The White Rose

Chapter 12 - Ghost houses, empty vases and bitter memories.

"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts" - Oliver Wendell Holmes.

(Christian’s point of view)

As we headed out, Leila kept her distance from me and Ivy. She wouldn’t make eye contact, and not being able to touch her nearly killed me. When she had leant in to kiss me in the barn, it took every ounce of my strength not to follow her lead, but it didn’t hurt as much as watching her betray me. I couldn’t be with her knowing that she loved someone else. Knowing that she was willing to risk hurting me just so she could have an intimate moment with him.

After a few minutes, she spoke. “I’m going to run to the house, so I’ll see you there.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” I asked.

“I’m quite fast,” she replied without looking at me, and then she began to run at an incredible speed. She was out of sight within seconds.

"How... How can she run like that?"

"Long story. Something happened to her in the house that we're heading back to. A human that we met, called Emilie, was killed and then Leila said she relived her death. It was awful. Ever since then, she's had all of the powers that spiders possess without the thirst and lack of emotion. In fact, I'd say her emotions are stronger."

"Why didn't she tell me any of this?" I said, only thinking about the heightened anger, loss, and pain she felt.

“It's not really something you can just slide casually into a conversation. Plus, it’s not like you two have been talking much lately. I can see how much pain it’s causing the both of you.”

“That doesn’t matter. I can’t forgive and I can’t forget. I’m going to have to live with the pain she caused me and so is she.”

“You’re going to punish her for the way she feels?”

“No, I’m punishing her because she chose to act upon her feelings, knowing she could hurt me.”

“Either of you could die at any moment. She made a mistake, something you and I have also made, on more than one occasion. You don’t have to give her another chance, just think about it at least.”

I nodded. “I will.”

“Good, I’m glad.” She was smiling, but something was hiding behind it.

Anger? Sadness?

We kept walking and, as we did, I tried to think of a way to talk to her. "Ivy?"

"Yeah?"

"That thing we were talking about before..." I could barely get my words out. I wasn't the best at empathising with people and talking about personal things.

"What thing?" She smiled.

"About your parents." Her smile vanished. "I said I was going to ask you after we'd found Leila."

She sighed. "I know. This also isn't a thing you'd find in a casual conversation. It's hard... I can't find the words."

"Take your time."

"I'm a twin. Or at least I was. When my mother stepped into the lake, when she conceived me, she also got Ever. She thought it was a miracle but, when we were born, I was the only one breathing. I had strangled my own sister with my umbilical cord." She took in a sharp breath and leant against the fence on the side of the road.

"I'm sorry."

"That's not even the worst part. My parents blamed me for her death. Mother never said it of course; she never said a word to me. It was my father who told me over and over again that it should've been me. Ever should've lived and I should've died. He drank a lot, saying that it was because of me that my mother would never smile again." She rolled up the sleeves of the coat and took her watch off to reveal multiple scars on her wrists. "I couldn't take any more after a while, so I left. I had nowhere to go of course so, for the past seven months, I had been living on the streets or in the forests that surround the city."