Let Me Help You

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I peered down at the generic, plastic tile flooring of the hospital hallway to see doctors running around trying to tend to the patients. I even heard a women crying next door. I looked down at my hands and I nervously cracked my knuckles. People who pasted by looked at me with such guilt. I hated when people felt sorry for me it makes me feel weak. Hospitals were never a friendly place to me. I hated it here. It smelt bad and I could feel the death and sickness surrounding me. It was like I could feel the presence of all of the people who had once died here. It felt so cold and discouraging, like there was no more hope left. A tear accidentally slipped out of my eye but I wiped it away before it could do any harm. I stood there with the nurse not knowing what to say or do. Becky, was her name. She crossed her arms and sighed at me like she didn't know what to say either. What was there to say? She started taking a bunch of paperwork out of the plain, off-white folder she was holding in her wrinkly hands. Becky was an older nurse, probably in her fifties. She seemed nice I suppose.

"So Dylan. Your mother's cancer. We did some tests today and its not looking good so far. But today we're going to start some chemotherapy and physical therapy. She's going to be staying in the hospital until she's healthy enough. If you'd like to take her home right away you'll need to monitor her medications and hire a nurse......"

Chemotherapy? A live-in nurse? So many words were being thrown at me like bullets I felt like I was in a battlefield. I couldn't keep up. No this is not happening. Maybe if I keep telling myself that over and over again my mom will be cured. My eyes started to get blurry with tears so I just did what I do best, I ran. I always ran away from my problems. I guess that few months of track Freshman year really paid off. I ran through the long narrow hallway that connected to the hospital lobby. I got some dirty looks from the nurses working the front desks but I didn't dare stop, I kept running until I found a door and I ran outside into the chilly air. I sat down on a bench trying to regain my strength and catch my breath. I feel so suffocated in there like I was trapped in a room with no windows, I just needed to breathe. I sat outside the hospital on a bench and I just started crying, sobbing. My eyes were so flooded with tears I could barely see a thing. Tears were running down my face to the bottom of my chin. The taste of the salty tears were somewhat comforting. I felt like nothing or no one could save me now. I hated crying, it made me feel weak but I was pretty used to the feeling by now.

* * * * 

After I calmed myself down a bit and regained my focus I took out my old flip phone and read the time that lit up vibrantly. 7:52. I sighed loudly. I looked around to see if anyone noticed me but I was all alone. I wandered around  I got in my old beat up mustang and drove like a maniac so I could get to school on time. Just a few minutes to spare, perfect. I parked my car in my usual spot with Lizzie waiting for me so we could walk to class. "Hey Dylan! Wait, you look sad.... what's wrong?" She said panically while grabbing my wrist. When did I never not look sad? Lizzie was the closest thing I had to a best friend. I don't even know why she was friends with me to be honest, I think she just felt bad for me. Bless her heart she cared for me when no one else did at this god forsaken place. I yanked my wrist away from her and she had a discouraging look on her face. "I don't really want to talk about it... can we just go to class?" She nodded her head and we headed off to English class. Ever since the whole Rachel incident I've gotten stared at and made fun of everyday. "Dirty Dylan" is what they called me. I cringed every time I heard those words. I thought they'd forget about it after awhile but I guess I was wrong. 

"You know you can tell me anything. I don't know why you always keep everything to yourself. Don't you ever just want to talk about things?" Lizzie and I were complete opposites. She was the loud, bubbly one and I was the quiet, shy one. I never told anyone about my problems because I knew they wouldn't understand. "No I really don't. I'm sorry Lizzie I just don't want to talk about it, okay?" I pleaded for her to stop talking about it. I was definitely not in the mood. "Ok fine. Talk to me when you're ready." She seemed kind of upset. I couldn't blame her. I didn't let anyone in, not her, not even my own mother. We got to English class on time thank God. Another tardy and I would of gotten another detention. "Class let's get out your binders and we are going to take notes today." Mr. Dennis said sharply yelling at the students who still had their cellphones. I couldn't focus in class. All I could think about was my mom. Thankfully the day was going sort of fast. After a few periods passed it was lunchtime so Lizzie and I and some of her friends all went to eat lunch in the cafeteria. "Did you guys hear about Aaron's party? His parents are out of town so he's throwing this huge party at his house tonight. We should all get ready together and go." All of the other girls were nodding their heads with excitement. Lizzie smiled at me trying to cheer me up. "Dylan you're going to come with us, right?" I rolled my eyes at her and went back to eating my lunch, she got her answer. "Come on Dylan! You need to get out and live a little! Don't make up any excuses, this time you are coming and that's it." She kept talking about how she was going to do my hair and makeup and it was just all too much. "I can't." I whispered because I knew she'd be mad. She sighed at me. I looked down and swirled my fork into the gross macaroni and cheese the cafeteria was serving that day. "Dylan you have to its going to be the party of the year and.." Lizzie pleaded and begged me. "I told you I can't Lizzie. Okay? Don't you get it I can't go!" The bell rang right on cue and I stormed out of the cafeteria. 

I suffered through Ceramics and French with only a few people calling me names and then I finally got to get out of that stupid school. I raced out into the parking lot before anyone could see me. I didn't want to run into Lizzie or anyone else for that matter. I found my car and I hopped in having to start it a few times before it would start all the way. Stupid car. I put the car and reverse and back up from the parking space. Before I could stop myself I slammed into another car probably making a big dent in my car. Great. This is just what I needed. I pulled back into the parking spot and made my way out of the car slamming the door behind me. I turned around to see a boy standing there looking apologetic. "What the hell man?!" I screamed at him waving my hands in the air. "I didn't mean to!" He started to yell back at me but I knew he was sorry for yelling when his face looked apologetic again. "I'm sorry I guess I was distracted or something...." He spoke up but I could barely hear him. I took a step towards him. We were so close together our foreheads barely touched. "Well watch where your going next time.." My voice became quieter at the end of my sentence when I saw him staring back at me. His eyes were a pool of sea-glass green. They reminded me of that one summer when I went to North Carolina and I collected so many pieces of beautiful sea glass I filled up a whole jar at the end of the summer. I've never seen something so beautiful before in my life. I had this weird sensation while staring into those gorgeous eyes of his. I shook my head and slowly backed away from him. "Well umm thanks for backing up into me I really appreciated it." I smirked at him and left quickly before I could change my mind.