Spring-heeled Jack and the President's Ring

Chapter 21 ~ Magnetron in Motion

"Pung intruded most inconveniently and gave Mrs. Mackenzie detailed instructions as to the care and feeding of his cats during his absence.  'Lememba to pet the kitties!'"

Southwick could not have known of my finely honed proficiency at disregarding acrid language and displays of anger.  He railed against me, Dr. Hogalum, and the Hogalum Society without regard to truthfulness nor intelligibility.  Disregard him I did, as there would be ample time later to interrogate him.  For the moment, there was too much else requiring my attention.

As she had on many occasions, Mrs. Mackenzie threatened to tender her resignation.  She emoted in her charmingly coarse manner on her status as overseer of household affairs and the difficulties with which she was presented in the pursuance of such duties, owing to the unpredictable occurrences taking place in and around the Contrivance Conservatory.  I took her aside and explained to the best of my ability that events themselves were unpredictable, and that my duties required I attend to these events as they occurred without regard to matters of convenience.  She glowered and began packing her belongings.  I offered her a substantial increase in her salary.  She continued packing.  I apologized that she had not been kept sufficiently apprised and vowed to make amends.  She fingered the latch on her suitcase thoughtfully.  I thanked her for her loyal service to me, for her staunch support, her adept management of the household under trying circumstances.  At last she began to soften.

Pung intruded most inconveniently and gave Mrs. Mackenzie detailed instructions as to the care and feeding of his cats during his absence.  "Lememba to pet the kitties!" he entreated, and demonstrated the correct technique on Chuang Tse, a male Burmese with an insatiable appetite for salmon.  "Dey like lots of pets and it make you feel good, too." Mrs. Mackenzie appeared to be regaining full pressure.  She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw to retain the pressure internally, and at the very moment she seemed ready to explode, or launch vertically perhaps, Pung threw his arms around her and thanked her profusely.  Her anger evaporated.  "Get along with the both of youse," she said.  "I'll be all right."

The Grants’s vacation itinerary put them in Paris, and we therefore prepared to set sail for the famous French capital.  We would meet him and present to him his ring—and its thief.  We had also reluctantly agreed to offer Pung passage to China to visit his family.  Coburn also had some family business to attend to in Australia, the nature of which he refused to divulge.  Valkusian, too, had added a stop in Siam to our hemispheric itinerary, although he was even less forthcoming than Coburn as to why.

Our extended agendum sparked a fresh bout of Mrs. Mackenzie’s anger, but as we boarded the Luftigel, she stood silently at Anders's side and attempted a smile.  Valkusian boarded first and Cerebelli followed, accompanied by his dog Baron.  They were followed by Pung, with his apple crate full of kittens, their doting mother Mozi at his feet.  Coburn had secured Southwick earlier in an improvised brig, and then joined Satyros and me at the foot of the Luftigel's gangway.

"Anders, take good care of Mrs. Mackenzie," I said.  Satyros and Coburn sniggered conspiratorially at this, and Bunyip offered an impeccably timed and thoroughly obscene vocalization which made Mrs. Mackenzie blush, though in actuality it betrayed only Coburn's frequent patronage at houses of ill repute.

Mrs. Mackenzie gripped her collar and ignored Satyros and Coburn, who boarded hastily.  "Do be careful!" she said.

"I will," I replied.

"What shall I do with that ghastly mask of yours?"

"Lock it in my laboratory and leave it be."  I turned to board the Luftigel and then turned back to my faithful staff.  "Thank you both," I said, and a tear welled up in my eye.  "Thank you for everything.  I cannot hope to remunerate either of you sufficiently for your service, and your friendship means everything to me."

Anders smiled.  Mrs. Mackenzie frowned and began building another head of steam.  "Are you takin' back my raise, Phineas Magnetron?  Is that it?  I won't stand for it, you know..."

I made a mental note that I would now have to raise Anders salary as well, and continued my progress up the gangway.  Moments later, we were airborne once again.