The Spider Hunt (A Spiderman Fanfiction)

K is for kitchen, knave and Potassium

{*Author Note: This was originally a fun scene I wrote but never really intended to publish, buuuuut I decided to adapt and share it with you all so I hope you enjoy it. Its probably not as polished as I would have liked and... its kinda weird but let me have this chapter for Peter to be happy and safe with Jaffa (though obviously not safe from his own idiotic self. *sigh* ). After the pain of last chapter (and next chapter I'M SORRY OKAY) I felt like we all needed this.

If anyone has any burning questions just @ me or something and I'll probably reply. Anyway have fun!*}

"...and that's how you calculate your monthly income and tax deductions when you remove superannuation if you theoretically and I quote 'die alone and jobless so there's no need for that retirement money stuff'," Aunt May finished with a thankful sigh, slamming the financial textbook in front of her so hard that it sent the small mound of working out paper flurrying of the kitchen table and onto the floor. Peter jolted upwards from where he had been leaning heavily on his hand half asleep.

May shot him a suspicious and slightly worried look as she began picking up the sheets that had tumbled to the floor.

"Now do you feel like telling me why you insisted I spend three hours explaining financials that I know who have no interest in or comprehending? How about you... go outside and run around or play skateboard like you always do. Do those hobbies that always has you out of the house."

"No! I... WANT to learn about all the money, taxidermy, depression, and other adulting terms... stuff. Aioli payments just get me going ya know!! Now tell me about how to file for a... home-fliers loan! Yeah! That's a thing right?" Peter blabbered half incoherently as he tried very hard to pretend he wasn't just about to fall asleep.

"Okay well for starters It's alimony, not Aioli," Aunt May just shot him an extremely unimpressed and definitely worried look (interest in tax could not be normal) as she heaved the various dusty financial textbooks back to the bookshelf.

"I don't know what's been up with you lately Peter, but I'm more than slightly concerned. I've seen you more times these last couple of days than I usually see of you in a whole month," Aunt May

"Not that I don't love spending time with you Peter, I do, really, but I can't help but feel that you might be avoiding something and it doesn't seem particularly healthy."

Peter leaned back in his chair and let out an exaggerated, "Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I just, am learning new hobbies safely inside this house and far away from other people is all."

Aunt May sighed softly, "And I love that you have this interest in strange hobbies and a sudden desire for your own safety. So I have taught you how to sow, how to plait a French braid, helped you complete that 5000 piece puzzle, assisted you to perform the Turing test on Jaffa..."

"Which I passed with flying colours I'll have you know," Jaffa's smug voice proudly proclaimed from the roof.

Peter sunk into the kitchen seat and hissed to Jaffa under his breath "...yeah maybe don't go advertising that one Jaffa, I'm not exactly proud by AI can fool people so scarily... who am I kidding I am so proud!" Peter shot his hand up to high-five Jaffa only to have it hang awkwardly as he realized that Jaffa was sort of incorporeal so that perhaps wasn't going to happen.

Aunt May simply continued on talking with a slightly disturbed look on her face, "you managed to insert your own face onto the faces of all our photo's, which considering is mostly photos of you anyway, really isn't as great a prank as you think,"