Not Another Love Story

Chapter Seven

TED POV (PRESENT)

We were driving back from the church in the cab in a complete daze. 

Marshall and Lily were holding hands and staring into nowhere. 

I had Barney draped awkwardly over the back seat mumbling obscenities about Nora to me as I lounged in the front seat. 

A notably absent Robin hadn't contacted any of us for weeks ever since finding out about Nora and Barney, besides one phonecall to Lily the very next day which I was told was top secret.

'Pssst,' Barney started to undo my tie and I slapped him away with a stern 'get-the-hell-off-me-bro' type of stare. 

He was relentless. 'No, Ted, listen. I have a secet you can't tell anybody! You have to super secret swear on your actual life not to tell nobody!' He was whispering vodka soaked weirdness into my ear and all I wanted to do was throw him out of the damn car.

'What Barney!'

'Ted, Ted my man. I, Barney Stinson, am going to be-' He started giggling uncontrollably and the smell of his breath was quite frankly too much for me to handle.

'Barney, you're breath is simply too much for me to handle, buzz off. 'K bro?'

'Teeeddddd, cmon!'

Silent treatment.

'Ted.'

...

'Ted!!!'

'No Barney.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No way, I'm tired man.'

'Por favor?'

'What?' 

'It's please in Spanish.'

'So?'

'Por favor?'

'No!'

'Por favor?'

'Damn you! What? What the hell do you need to say??' I completely spun around in my seat and gave him my most evilest of evil looks.

'That'll be 12 dollar fifty, please thankyou.' The cab driver told us,

'Saved by the bell, Barnabus.' Marshall teased.

1 MONTH AGO

Barney POV

For over a month now I hadn't even saw or heard one damn thing about Robin and it was killing me. I'd convinced myself the more time I spent with Nora the less annoying she would be and I have genuinely been trying to make the relationship work.

I slept with her, let her make me dinner, drive me to work, everything that made her happy! And I still only wanted Robin. What was wrong with me? Me, Barnabus, whipped?

Walking along the street with a bagel and a coffee I felt like a major douchebag, which was pointed out to me by a rude, short bald hipster going past me on a bike.

Halfway back to Nora's place, I spotted Ted's girlfriend Rebecca across the street. It was slightly awkward between us seeing as I hit that before he did, and I was sorta the reason they got together when I made him take her out for coffee to get rid of her the morning after.

She saw me and waved. I waved back. She smiled. I smiled. She gestured for me to come over, pointing into a flower shop, probably getting ideas about the stupid wedding next month.