Dead and Gone [Alive and Shattered Sequel]

Dead and Gone: Chapter Six

As I headed back to my room, a horrible feeling churned in my stomach. I hadn't realized at the time, but the way I spoke to James was unacceptable. I knew I had to fix things between us, but that wasn’t going to happen right now.

 

I trudged through the almost empty streets, keeping my head down as I did. By coming back, I had told myself one thing.

 

I didn't want to be recognized.

 

I wanted to show up unannounced and disappear without a trace. Now, however, I had seen both James and Jackie. I was more than sure people would now talk. It is, after all, a small town.

 

A familiar smell hit my nose, causing me to stop in my tracks. It bombarded my mind with memories. I walked into Al’s Pizza, a group of people were surrounding Quinton and some jerk, Adena was in the back covered in pop.

 

All I wanted in that moment was to go back to my room and sulk. But something wouldn't allow me. I found myself walking into Al's Pizza before my mind could process what I was doing.

 

Seating myself in a booth, I glanced around. There were only a few high school kids in the place. They sat at a table by the window. Besides them, myself, and an elderly couple, the place was pretty much vacant.

 

I looked over to where Adena had been standing that day. I could practically see her standing there, watching in horror as that jerk and I fought. I remembered her pulling me from the restaurant after and driving me home to take care of my wounds.

 

A guy, who had been getting himself a refill at the pop machine walked into my line of vision. I found my eyes watching him as he made his way over to his friend. He reminded me of myself. The old me, the one that had been a football player, had dated Jackie, and had pretended to be happy.

 

He set his arm around the girl he was sitting next to. She rested her head on his shoulder, her chocolate brown hair draping over his arm. She looked so much like Adena.

 

I wanted that.

 

I looked away from them; the memory of what used to be me hurting too much. Instead, my thoughts returned to Adena. I remembered how she would get so animated when she talked, I remembered the way she always snuck side glances to see if I was looking at her. Most of all,  I remembered her smile.

 

On some nights, I was lucky. I would dream of her and I together; sitting in a plain field and all I would do was look at her smile. I don’t know how anyone could not love her…

 

I froze at that thought and guilt started creeping in.

 

You gave up on her, remember? A little voice whispered to me. I glared at the booth across from me as though it were a reflection of myself.

 

I understand that and I live with the pain everyday! I said to myself. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her.