It's been a long day, so I decided why not get some coffee, that always gets me in a better mood. I walk in and saw the long line awaiting me, I sigh and just stood and waited on my Twitter feed, checking what's new. Once it got to me I ordered and waited at the side with about three other people waiting along for theirs, I hear my name and head up to get my drink, seeing it wasn't mine I stood there not wanting to bother the workers because they were so busy, what should I do? I hear a guy trying to get their attention as he was also sort of confused,he looks at me, "did they give you the wrong order too?" He asks me, "yeah" with a short smile. "What did you order?" He says again, "just a dragon fruit refresher, you ?" I ask, " you're kidding, that's what they gave me... and I'm assuming that one is mine seeing as how it looks exactly like my order " he says and smiles while we exchange our drinks, I nod and say thank you and continue on walking. I walk out and hear a "hey wait up" behind me.. uh? "Yeah ?" I ask as I turn around and see the same boy that I just talked to at the shop, " I uh, I didn't get your name .." he says with a chuckle, "oh haha, my name is Viri ", "great , I'm Jack, nice to meet you Viri" he tells me with a cute grin. And that's that, we walk away from each other and I really never thought I'd see Jack again.
So I drove home, and go up to my apartment. My dog greeting me at the door. I lay on my couch with him and read the recent messages I had. A bunch of "Hey you good?", "where are you?", " I'll just talk to you later well" all from Adam.We always have arguments that he starts and tries to blame on me that always end up with me apologizing to him for telling him how I feel? For expressing why I get mad? I've gotten so tired of it lately and I don't know what to do. I love him, I do a lot and I want to fix this,it just always ends up in him getting mad at me somehow. All I can think is am I doing something wrong ? Is he doing it purposely so we can end what we have because he doesn't feel the same way anymore? Does he have feelings for someone else ? I can't help what I think of almost every day, we have such happy times, he makes me so happy but really, when have I ever had something so toxic where it's fighting almost every week about the stupidest of things, and then here he is getting mad over me not responding so quick, what the hell is it ? "Come over Adam" I text him, I want to finally establish what this really is about. He eventually arrives and we sit down, "I want to talk about this, I want to know exactly where we are heading, I want to know why you always get mad at me? Why you don't trust me? Why I can't even look at a guy without you automatically assuming I have something for them? It doesn't make sense to me." I tell him,he sighs and finally words come out of his mouth with a shrug, " I don't know what to tell you honestly... I just want to get to know you more, I do care about you a lot and i just have issues you know what happened to my previous relationship, I'm still learning to trust", "yeah so what? I understand you and im here for you but also you have to understand I'm not her ? So I don't get it, but I want to really try to fix this because i don't want to lose you" I tell him, "I don't want to lose you either, we both need to try and give more effort, change the way on how we constantly fight, okay?" He says to me with such assuring words. I nod and say "i just want us to be okay, fighting every day over little things isnt my goal for us, if were becoming or getting to being steady again i want a good relationship between us where we have time and trust and communication. Thats all that bothers me", he looks at me and just nods again. we continue on with our day,we decide to watch a movie, order some food, and we act like the argument never happened, but it did. he loves to carry on like nothing, he does this after fights too, gets mad and then acts like nothing not long after. I really want this to work out. If not then that means i came over here for nothing? I see it going long term, something i see in him that I never saw in my previous relationships, which arent many, but still. and if that's how I see it Why ignore my desire ?
And his desire. Right?
