Just This Once » m.c.

IX - It's Not You

There's not one single party that I've been in Mark's place that wasn't crowded. Mark is friends with everybody after all so he can always count on people to come over and leave his house completely trashy. Oh, yeah, he's probably the only 19 year old who lives in an awesome house by himself.

His parents are amazingly rich so last winter when they went to Itally on vacations, they decided to stay there for a while since they really enjoyed the city they were in, which means they allowed Mark to stay in their huge house while doing college and starting his life and career. Of course, he is indeed studying hard and getting the best grades in Law school, but he continues to be Mark.

And Mark loves a great party.

"VIOLET OH MY GOD" That's his reaction when he spots me entering the livingroom followed by Luke "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN LIKE... AGES!" He screams in my year while pulling me to a tight hug.

I can't help but laugh at him, who's obviosly already drunk "You saw me last weekend at Jenna's birthday. But it's good seeing you too buddy"

Though I hadn't said anything particularly funny, he lets out a loud laugh, pushing me aside so he could hug Luke "WHAT'S UP KIDO?!"

"Dude, you're stinking" Luke says joking, pushing him away slightly.

Mark just keeps on laughing and heads to the kitchen, where I'm guessing he'll continue bothering people.

"I'll get us a drink" Luke says, gently pushing me aside by the waist so he could pass and leaving me alone in the room.

Well, not alone. There must be about twenty people in here, dancing and making out, half of those probably drunk as well. All the sits are taken and the light comes only from people's celphones and from the back yard, which means that to picture that scenario, all you gotta do is imagine a loud, dark and sweaty mess.

"Wanna go upstairs?" I hear Luke's voice behind me a minute later and turn around to see him drinking a sip of his vodka with... Was that soda? It seems kinda disgusting.

"Yeah, let's go" I say, taking the glass of pure vodka he was handing me in one hand and entertwining our fingers in the other as I let him lead me till the stairs.

"I bet Mark doesn't know half these people" Luke laughs as we head to a less crowded corner on he hallway, already on the second floor.

"As if he cares" I mock, stopping by the wall and resting against it.

Luke's free hand imidiatelly finds its way to my waist, coming closer to me. He takes another sip of his drink and laughs lowly.

"Dude, Michael must be dying already"

Did he really have to mention Michael? I frown at him, as I play with the hem of his shirt "What do you mean?"

"His girlfriend is gonna be away for a whole month!I mean, the poor guy was used to get laid almost everyday and now he has to put up with a whole month by himself"

Two reasons for me to feel slightly uncomfortable and nervous about having this conversation with Luke: First, I had sex with Michael. Second, I've never had sex with Luke, our making out relationship was restrictly about making out, not about sleeping together.

I roll my eyes "Do you really wanna talk about Michael's sex life?"

Luke smirks and I feel his grip getting tighter on my waist as he leans torwards me "No, we can talk about someone else's sex life" He presses his lips against mine and I can't deny my legs got a bit weaker.

I reach for his hair, tangling my fingers in it and pulling him closer. I notice he had placed his glass in a tiny table next to us so he could slip his hand behind my neck, giving me chills, and I do the same, letting my now free hand roam down his chest. He moves his lips slowly against mine, bitting it slightly once in a while. I find myself short of breath when Luke pulls away just to start placing kisses from my jaw line till my neck.

I can't avoid the curse from sliping through my lips in a whispered moan "Shit"

I feel his smile on my skin and he pushes me even more torwards the wall, pressing his body against mine. But I sudenly start to feel more nervous than I should, my fingers shaking in Luke's neck. Do I even wanna do this?

"Luke" I call lowly, pushing him away slightly, enough so he would stop sucking on my skin. But he goes back to my lips, kissing me softly.

"Yeah babe?" He whispers with a raspy voice.

The only time Luke calls me "babe" is when we are making out and to be honest, I love it. I can't help but let out a nervous laugh into his lips.

"I just, I don't know if I'm..." I never get this nervous, I don't even want to open my eyes so I don't have to face Luke and my voice keeps cracking as I try to talk "I don't know, I mean..."

Is this because of Michael? You can't stop thinking about it, can you? Now you're feeling guilty and you're gonna let this ruin what you have with Luke? You're just gonna overthink everything and get more confused than you have to.

"Hey" Luke says lowly, caressing my cheek with his thumb and pulling away a bit more to look me in the eyes. I try my best to divert my gaze though "Vi, you're shaking. Hey, look at me" By now my eyes are watery, what only gets me more nervous "What...? We don't have to this if you don't want to" I can see concern in his eyes and maybe even some guilt.

I rush in trying to explain myself "No, that's not it. I mean, it is, but not like that" I close my eyes again in frustration, wiping a fallen tear and letting out a humorless laugh "Oh God, I don't even know why I'm crying"

"Did I do something...?"

"No! No, no, don't worry. It's not you, it's me, I'm just..."

He gives me a sweet smile "Wow, "it's not you, it's me" is such a horrible excuse" He jokes, making me laugh.

"Well, this time it's true. I mean, I don't know, we never... You know. And it's not that I don't want it, I just don't think I'm ready..."

"You're not..." He interrupts me, frowning "You're not... a virgin, right?"

I can't help but laugh at his expression "No, Luke, I'm not a virgin. I'm just kinda confused right now, maybe this is not a very good time"

"Oh, okay. It's fine" He presses his lips against mine softly one more time "Hey, I'm here for you, you know that, right?" He places a kiss on the tip of my nose and I smile at him.

"I know" I say, pecking his lips "And thank you for that"

"Well, you're my bestie!" He fakes a girl's voice, rolling his eyes "You can tell me anything"

"I know, I know" I repeat, laughing.

He narrows his eyes, a smirk on his lips "What are you confused about?"

I pull a face "I can't tell you that"

He widen his eyes, pretending to be shocked "What?! Why? What is it about? I thought we told each other everything!"

I blurt a loud laugh "You're pathetic"

"Awww, c'mooooon, tell me more, tell me more"

"I'll tell you some other time" I push him away slightly, getting out of his grip "I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face, I must look shitty"

But as I'm about a turn around he takes my hand and pulls me back, kissing me once again "You look beautiful. I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"

I can't avoid my cheeks from blushing slightly as I give him a small smile "Okay"

-

I didn't look so shitty after all, I guess I just needes some space. After taking a few deep breaths in the bathroom and calming down, I finally get out to try to find Luke on the first floor, he must be drinking with some friends by now.

I take one last glance at my reflaction in the mirror before opening the door, but before I can step out, I'm surprised by Michael's figure waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?"

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Guys, I'm really sorry that I'm taking ages to update. I wasn't feeling very inspired :(

But I'll try to update more often, and I really hope you're liking it. Let me know what you're thinking ;)

Thanks for reading xx