texting// luke hemmings

15

it's been two days. and i haven't received a text from luke. or a call. or a facetime. or an email. or anything at all.

and yes, i know, i'm the one who left. i don't know why i miss him so much if i'm the one who left. it's all my fault.

no.

it's not my fault. it's his.

he started dating arzaylea. he got her pregnant. and he's perfectly okay with it.

i understand the relationship part of this wasn't luke's decision, but why would he fuck her?

was he drunk? was she drunk? were they both drunk?

all of these thoughts pacing through my mind fast and relentlessly. i have so many questions. too many. i need answers, but i know damn well i can't get them.

i loved luke, but did he love me? and if he did, why would he willingly get some other girl pregnant?

should i contact him? should i straight up ask him? what the fuck should i do.

i've been in the same set of pajamas for two days and counting. yes, that's gross, but i can't look at myself right now. i just can't find out what's so wrong with me that luke had to go fuck another girl.

does he only see me as a friend? or a side chick? or someone he can just fuck with?

that's it.

i'm going to call him.

my hands were shaking crazily as i held the phone in my hand, dialing his number.

i held it up to my hear, hearing the line right continuously on the other end. his end.

after quite a few rings, luke's soft voice rang through.

"hello?"

"we need to talk." my voice trembled.

"i don't really have the time-"

i cut him off mid-sentence. "make the time. please, luke."

i heard a heavy sigh come from his end of the line. "i'm here."

i took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. i'm going for it. "what am i to you, luke?"

"uh, well, what do you mean?" he asked, genuine confusion filling his tone of voice.

"are we friends? are we a thing? do you like me?" i asked quickly, my thoughts getting the best of me.

"emily, i don't know how to describe how i feel about you." he said, annoyance now present in his voice.

"go on."

"i don't think we'd be a good fit, you know, relationship wise. i think we could fuck around a little bit, though, if that's what you're hinting at, babe." he told me, a clear smirk present on his face.

i couldn't quite process his words. i felt numb.

"t-that's all you wanted me for?" i choked out, barely able to form words due to shock.

"that's all a guy ever wants, sweetheart," he paused for a moment, as if he was trying to soften the blow. "you're hot and all, but you're a little too damaged for my type."

"oh." tears began to fall, and yet again, i didn't feel them start to form. it must be hidden talent of mine, you know, not being able to tell when your body is breaking down.

"anytime. but yeah, uh, you know my number if you wanna be a little undamaged for a while." and again, a present smirk in his voice.

i couldn't believe what he was telling me. i couldn't believe this fucking bullshit.

anger was now running through my veins. i couldn't control it.

i grabbed my car keys from my vanity, and sped downstairs and out to my car. i started the engine and hit the gas pedal, speeding down the street towards his hotel.

when i finally reached their hotel, i quickly parked my car. by the way, worst fucking park job ever. but who the fuck cares.

i walk straight into the lobby, not hearing the receptionist yell at me over the sound of my blood boiling.

room 357. room 357. room 357.

i hit the button in the elevator to go up to the 3rd floor, and after a few short seconds, it dinged, telling me i was here.

i was going to fucking rip his head off.

i quickly make my way down the hall to their room.

when i get there, i hear the boys inside, playing a video game probably. i try the handle, but sure enough it's locked on the outside. i pound very hard on the door a few times.

a few seconds later, i'm greeted by a very tired-looking mikey.

"hey, em, what are you-" he starts, before i shove past him and make my way into the room.

"where the fuck is he?" i shout, ky eyes quickly scanning the room.

"holy fuck, emily, just calm down." ashton says, trying his best to calm me.

i see calum pointing to the door of the small extra room that was in the hotel room.

i swing open the door to find luke, sitting on the bed playing some dumb video game, without a fucking care in the world.

"how could you?" i start, already screaming.

"woah, emily, what are you doing here?" he says, shocked.

"shut the fuck up and listen to me luke!" i scream at him, and i can already feel the tears forming.

"how could you treat me like this luke? do you think i'm just another girl for you to fuck and leave? what the fuck is wrong with you?" i yell at him, more tears falling.

i can see the look on his face turn from shocked to pitiful.

"what else would you be to me, honey?" he says slyly and winks.

my blood boils so fucking hot that i can't see straight anymore. tears keep falling onto my shirt.

"you don't have any feelings for me luke?" i beg.

he's gotten lost underneath his fame. his ego. it's too much. i need to know if my lukey is still in there.

he pauses before speaking the word that would tear me apart.

"no," he says with a grin.

i feel my whole face drop. i can feel my face get hot and my heart start to race. without thinking, i rush over to luke and i start hitting him. uncontrollably.

i can't stop. i won't stop.

he begins to grunt in pain. and after a few more punches, i'm being pulled off by the other boys.

i can't see straight. i can't think straight. my mind is spinning, everything is spinning.

"emily? emily?" calum says, trying to keep my eyes from shutting.

but my lids become heavier and heavier by the second.

calum keeps calling my name, but it gets fainter and fainter each time i hear it.

and before i know it, my world turns black.