Because Sometimes Opposites Attract - Draco Malfoy Fanfic

Chapter 17

I had not cared about him insulting me before because I hadn't cared about him. But now I cared about him and I cared about his perception of me. When I knew I was going to see him in the corridors or in class, I checked my hair and my make-up before. I cried myself to sleep when he insulted me, just like today. He had said I wasn't worth anything and basically also that nothing we were doing was changing him. I was not making anything better which I always hoped I was. Did he really think that? Then why did he keep coming back to me? I wasn't worth anything, I was only good for a quick make-out? 

Tears kept streaming down my face and I tried not to sob too loudly. I didn't want to wake the others and I especially didn't want to explain why I was crying. That was the worst, I could not talk to anybody about it, I could not tell Corey either, I couldn't tell him about boy stuff. Celine, Luna, Cho and Georgia, all of them would never speak to me again and I could never hurt Neville like that. It would've broken his heart. I was sure I wasn't the only one crying because of Draco but I was the only one crying because I wanted him to respect me, everyone else was just hurt by his words. I was hurt by his words.

Sitting at the breakfast table with Georgia the next morning, I wished I could tell her without judging me. But she would judge me and not want to be friends with me anymore. And I knew I didn't have the power to change anything, if I went up to him, he'd reject me. He was in control and I hated that. It made me feel even weaker than I already felt. But he could just make that decision, decide to not hate me even if it was just for a minutes. I wanted to be able to do that too. I hated not having anyone to talk about it. I had had that friend in the past but ... no, I couldn't think about that. 

"Slytherins incoming" Georgia warned and I took a deep breath, seeing Draco and his friends approaching us. I instantly started packing y stuff together, I couldn't bear the sight of him anymore. He was going to hurt me again, I knew it. I would not let him do that. "Scared, Baker?" Pansy asked. Her smile was vicious and it felt like I was the only one who noticed that she was clearly into Draco. She wanted to impress him and I wondered if she accomplished that by bringing me down. I wished I could tell her that I had made out with her precious crush. Instead, shutting up and leaving was on my agenda. "She's just weak, she can't do anything herself and she's afraid of being afraid, it's pathetic" Draco said and then he looked at me, right into my eyes and it hurt, it hurt my heart, it was awful. He really made me feel like I wasn't worth anything, not to him and not to anybody else. I looked down and I couldn't even respond, there was no come back. I could not hurt him anyway and who cared about impressing him now? He already hated me and he had no respect for me. Tears came to my eyes and I took my bag to walk away from them and out of the Great Hall.

I ended up in the girls' lavatory on the second floor, I shut the door behind myself and ran to the mirror, looking at myself and not liking what I saw. "Are you alright?" I heard a high-pitched voice behind me. It was a ghost, I was used to that at Hogwarts but I had never seen her before. It was a girl with glasses, she looked young. "Yeah" I said but tears kept running down my face. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone." "No, it's alright. Who are you?" I asked. "I'm Myrtle but most people call me Moaning Myrtle because I cry a lot here." "I won't call you that" I said, looking up at her. She smiled. "What house are you in?" she wondered. "Ravenclaw." "That was my house too" she said. I smiled. I wanted to ask her how she had died at such a young age but this was the first time I was really talking to a ghost, I wasn't scared and I wanted to know her story. But it would have been inappropriate to ask her. "I hope you feel better soon, now matter what it is. It can be quite comforting here though" she said and then flew into one of the cabins and I heard a splash. She must've gone down one of the toilets.

I stared back at my reflection in the mirror again. Suddenly, I saw the door open behind me. No. No, no, no. No. "Get the fuck out" I screamed and turned around. But he just walked in, walking towards me. "Draco ... I swear ... fucking leave me alone" I said but he came closer and closer until I had to take a step back and my lower back hit the sink. I pushed him away with my hands on his chest but he just took my hands into his and intertwined our fingers.

"I'm sorry" he said and locked my eyes. The look in his eyes took my breath away. I was a mess. He made my heart beat so fast and my breathing increased. Still staring, he leant down so our eyes were about on the same level. "I'm sorry, Sam. I take it all back, I don't want to see you cry, it's killing me." "Shut the fuck up, Draco, you're such a selfish bastard. You don't want to see me cry because it hurts you? What about me?!" Tears still ran down my face and I didn't even care that he saw me like this, he couldn't think any less of me than he already did. He lifted my chin up with his finger and wiped my tears away with his sleeve. Then he kissed me again and as if it was controlled by somebody else that wasn't me, my hand moved on its own, running my fingers through his hair. He smiled on my lips when I kissed him back and I wanted to pull away to see that smile but it would've been impossible to resist this kiss. He let go of my other hand too so I pulled him closer by his waist. He wrapped his arms around me and pushed me hard against one of the cabin doors that were closed. There was nobody here anyway. He kissed me harder. My heart was beating even faster and I could feel his heart hammering in his chest too as he pressed me into the door behind me.

When he pulled away, he kept me pinned against the door, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry for everything I said out there, I'm so sorry" he whispered. He was poison. "Stop messing with me, you idiot." I tried to avoid his eyes, not looking at him. He chuckled and I quickly looked up again to not miss seeing him smile. He wrapped his arms around me once more to just hug me and pulled my face into his chest. "Don't take anything I say when we're not alone seriously, please."