Fire and Freedom - Book One of the Café Latte Trilogy

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Ross

Chapter Twenty-Eight – Ross

I sat beside Harper, and fixed him with my best 'please forgive me' look. "I suck, and I'm sorry about it," I said firmly. "I bolted on Jasper, which was a dick move, and I avoided you, which was also a dick move."

"Yes," Harper agreed, but he didn't seem that angry.

Unfortunately, I had further information that would change that. "I also opened your storage locker and saw all of it, and now everyone knows."

Harper's glare was fierce. "Did it, or did it not, say 'open it if I die' in the note?" he asked me.

I said, "It did, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have opened it. I'm not offering up any excuses. I read your note, and I fully ignored it."

"Mm," Harper looked pissed. "Ross, the reason I didn't want anyone to see that is because I am mildly embarrassed about people seeing it. I wanted you to have things to remember me by, so that I could celebrate your damn birthdays and holidays with you even when I'm not physically around anymore. I didn't want people knowing about the Death Locker until it was absolutely necessary."

"You have a name for it?!" asked a sharp voice from the doorway.

Harper shot Edward an apologetic look. "I was just trying to make it lighter."

"It's morbid and creepy as hell!" Edward exploded, and then pointed at Harper accusingly. "So the doctor tells Jenny that you've been feeling terrible for ages. She said that you've been pushing yourself, ignoring various illnesses, acting like a reckless teenager that doesn't know what their body is capable of - am I missing something here?"

Harper coloured. "Edward, it's not-"

Edward hissed a little. "Okay so you might have a weird fucked-up attitude towards dying right now, maybe you just see it as a given and want to speed the fucking process up, or something, but my GOD Harper, I don't like it. None of us like it. You think we're just upset right now? Nope, we are pissed off with you."

"Ed," I tried to calm him down, but he shrugged me off and continued yelling.

"I don't care if you think 'oh I have HIV, therefore I'm doomed for eternity, there's no point even trying'," he snapped. "I don't care if it's that you're so afraid of getting worse that you avoid seeing a doctor even when you're unwell. I swear to fucking God, Harper, if you don't start looking after yourself and at least trying to keep your life going, I will cut you out of my life so fast you won't even see it happen."

Harper blinked, astounded. I wasn't far off from that level of surprise. Edward never got this angry. Edward certainly never said he'd cut any of us out. Harper retorted, "Well, excuse me for not wanting to worry any of you."

"Oh, don't give me that crap," Edward snorted derisively. "You should take your life seriously if you want me in it. I don't want to be around a dick who knows opportunistic viruses are waiting to invade, and pretending that everything is fine." He pointed at Harper again. "Sort yourself out and look after yourself properly, or you lose me."

He stormed out of the ward, leaving Harper a little shell-shocked. I awkwardly said, "Well, I bet I look great in comparison, right?"

"I..." Harper was lost for words. 

"He could have said it a bit kinder," I allowed. "But I mean, if that's true then he's not wrong, Harper. We all want you to live, but in order to do that you have to accept your body's limitations."

Harper found his words, looking at me in exasperation. "Ross, I take a shitload of pills every single day of my life, and have done for twelve years, because I understand my body's limitations. Do you know how difficult it is to go to a doctor and put up with the bullshit stereotyping that comes from talking with them about HIV? Do you know how many doctors don't take it seriously anymore? I've been through three GPs in the last year alone because my old GP retired and I can't find anyone that doesn't label me as irresponsible or dirty."