#Obsessed

Chapter One

" - Hi, we're Muse... "

" - And you're watching NRJ Belgium. "

I know this interview, the whole interview, I know every questions and every answers, when they are going to laugh, the time they are going to take to answer, when Matt is going to play with his beard, when he is going to touch his hair... I know everything. But here I am, still watching it even though it's not going to tell me anything new. I am not even listenning, I am just watching them... Well him.

I became a fan of Muse 6 years ago. I saw them live a couple of times. I love every one of their songs. They are bringing so much in my life. I can't even explain what they are doing to my life. The singer, Matthew James Bellamy, is my reason to live. I learnt how to play the piano because of him, because i was dreaming that one day, maybe, I could play with him. I was just young and gullible. It's never going to happen. I close my laptop and sigh. All my dreams will never see the light. I will never meet him, so I will never be able to marry him, have a family with him... I will never be able to be happy. I don't feel any emotions, only him could help me feel something. Something amazing we could call love. But it will never happen.

I only dated two guys, both of them had dark brown hair, blue eyes... But my body wasn't reacting to them, they were making me want to throw up. Men disgust me. Matt is the only one I want, the only one my body could accept.

I lay down on my bed. I will end up alone, all alone. I will die without ever feeling love or loved. My whole body is suddenly painful, like the inside was retracting on itself. You feel so empty that it hurts... So, at least you feel something, right ?

To forget my loneliness, I grab my phone and scroll through my Instagram feed. Other people's life was making me sick. Seeing them living their lives, smiling, going out and travelling with their friends and families... Ugh ! They disgust me... Or maybe it's just jealousy. Yeah... It is jealousy. Social media are helping me not to get bored but they are also crushing my soul a little bit more every time I refresh my page. I have Likes because I am a fan account, but otherwise, without my muse edits, I am nothing. Just another instagram among so many others.

My phone vibrates. "Matt Bellamy just posted a picture". It was like my body was waking up, I could feel my cheeks burning. It was a picture of him with his girlfriend. Elle Evans... A gorgeous, blond, american, model... A fucking model ! A skinny, giant woman ! Me, a small, chubby, dirty brown hair girl... I can't believe I even dare imagining something happening with a man like Matt when he's been around so many good looking women. I am so ugly, I shouldn't be allowed to fantasize about beautiful people. I double tap my screen to like this picture who just double punch me in the face. The location of the picture is Teignmouth. He is in the UK... He is like... Two hours away from me right now. So close but yet so far... Wait... Maybe not so far...

Maybe, I should stop waiting for my miracle and I should just go grab that miracle myself. Maybe... I should do something ? I got suddenly all excited. I quickly search in google for the Trainline website. My fingers are typing so quick on my phone's keyboard that the name is completely wrong.

- "FUCK ! Okay, calm down ! "

I type trainline again, slower this time.

- " Okay ! Please, be cheap, please, be not that far away... Please mother fucking god... "

76 pounds, 2 hours and 27 minutes... I need to change for another train at some point... I can do it... I know this is madness, but this is also trying to meet him or killing myself. So let's try going to Teignmouth first and we'll see then.

" - Fuck... "

I just bought the tickets. I did it ! And I can't have my money back as I took the cheapest one. I am shaking, my hands are cold, I think I just had a heart attack and now I am a ghost. I am going to Teignmouth. I am going to meet Matt Bellamy. I need to book an hotel room, I don't have that much money, fuck, what have I done ?!