N E V E R • XXXTentacion/Jahseh Onfroy

N E V E R• Part 23

Trigger Warning// Suicide
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Willows mom

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    I held Willow in my arms stroking her hair. She smelt of lillys and lavender.

    No matter how bad i'd always fuck up she'd ways look after me and still be my baby.

    I could feel several tears slip out my eyes as i quickly wiped them away.

     "Be good. I love you Willy." I said. Giving her a bright smile. She smiled slightly.

     "I love you mom. I'll call you one we land." She replied, her eyes dull with sadness while she smiled bright.

      I frowned a bit but i watched my daughter go into the car with her father and his... Phase. I said goodbye to my baby Daisy and watched them drive off.

      Now i was completely alone. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Vodka i hid under the cubboards.

      Popping off the lid i brought the bottle to my lips and started to chug it down, the substance burning my throat.

      I didn't stop though. I drank and I drank. And once the bottle was half empty I took out my weed, rolled a blunt, and I smoked it.

       I turned on some music and began to dance around my living room. "IM ALONE!!" I yelled out to no one in particular. Tears began to stream down my face as I took pulls in between cries.

       My husband left me for a man. They took my baby girl. Then they took the only person I had left. My Willow.

       I headed into the kitchen, stumbling over my own two feet, almost callopsing. My vision was blurred and everything was moving in slow motion.

       I grabbed a bottle of prescription pills that I kept in ny cabinet-- They were for my anxiety. I hadn't taken them since Willow first went into high school and my husband left me...

       I poured some into my hand, not knowing or caring how much i was going to take all i knew was that i needed a lot.

       I grabbed my bittle of vodka and plopped the pills into my mouth washing them down with the vodka.

       I stared blankly into space. My blind blank. My life blank. Everything blank. I had no purpose anymore. And with that i got down to the ground and laid there, staring at the cieling until i felt my eyes get heavy and everything went black.

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-2 weeks later-

Willow

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    I hugged Daisy tight. "I'll see you later, okay?" I said, giggling.

     She laughed and nodded, running off to go play.

     My dad approached me, a look of despair on his face. "Hey dad, whats up?" I greeted him, intending to find out what happened.
   
     "Y-Your mother was found dead in her house an hour ago... Overdose they're saying." He spoke, looking as if he were about to choke.

     My mind went blank. "An hour ago.." i sputtered out. "She died about 2 weeks ago they said..." He replied in a whisper, his eyes to the ground.

     "She died two weeks ago... And shes just being found..? All9 this time she wouldn't pick up the phone or answer my messages i just thought she was being a bad mom but you're the bad parents for taking me the fuck away from her!" I yelled at my dad, my heart pounding out my chest. It felt like i was barely even able to breathe as I began to claw at my neck.

      I ran inside my room and let out my tears. My loud ugly horrific sobs.

      I pulled out my phone and let my finger hover over a name I didn't think i'd ever press again. But i needed him.

1:48 PM Me: Hey.
1:49 PM Jahseh: Hey.

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THATS THE END OF THE BOOK FOLKS!!!
If youve been with me since the beginning thank you so much.

Im sorry my updates have been like a month apart a lot of the time i forget i even have this app honestly.

This book was a way to help me cope with a breakup i was going through and although im still not in my best form ive been better.

Thank you so much for all the reads and support ive gotten. I might release another book soon..

Just thank you for everything. Stay strong 💕