The Adventures of Bob Smith

A New Menace

--Alex--

The next weekend, I had a date with Bob.  Well, not exactly but sort-of.  I'd had a bad week, and he was the only good thing about it.

When I got to work on Monday, everyone acted like they saw a ghost.  I'd been gone for a solid week, no warning, no phone call, no explanation.  No job.  Clean out your desk and go home.  They already had a pink slip waiting for me.

So at the end of the week, when I could be sure that Bob was off work, it was finally time to go meet up with my white knight.  As I pulled up the driveway, I thought I saw his neighbours looking out through their windows.  I guess I must have been an unusual sight.

Anyway, I got to his door and knocked.  While I stood there, I saw the curtains rustle in the little window beside the door.  A moment later, the door clicked.

Before I knew what happened, the door flew open and I was quickly dragged into the suite.

"Hi, Bob."

Inside the suite, it was dark.  All the lights were out for some reason.  I know he had some kind of super vision, what with being a genetically engineered alien killing machine and all, but this was carrying it a little far.

Before he turned his attention back to me, Bob took one more look out the front window.

"What's going on now?"

He finally turned back and answered me.

"Same as before, but worse."

"Remind me if I'm not remembering this right, but last weekend you had to fight two hostile aliens that both held me hostage."

"Yes, that's right."

"So, how can this week be even worse?"

"I think there's a Mehran out there."

"A what?"

"Mehrans are very dangerous.  They have a hard outer shell that makes them difficult to hurt.  They're good climbers and fighters and trackers.  And, I think there's one hunting in the area."

"You mean hunting you."

He nodded silently, then continued.  "You shouldn't have come."

"So what're you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know.  I'm not sure how to deal with a Mehran."

"But you got rid of all the other ones."

"They were nothing compared to this.  The first one was big and strong, but not too bright and pretty clumsy."

"And the other one, the jellyfish with the big smile?"

"That was a Trivekkian.  They're sleazy and sneaky and very fast.  They can really take a punch because they don't have any bones to break, but they have a weakness for sharp claws."

This was more than I'd realized, but there was more that I had to know.

"What about the new one?"

"The Mehran.  I'm not even sure how to hurt it.  Mehrans are armoured like insects, and that'll stop pretty much everything I've got"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out."

He sighed and hung his head a little.

"I don't know.  You should go.  It's dangerous here."

"Not that again."  He was like a broken record, always trying to scare me away with the same paranoid talk.

"Excuse me?"

"There's a lot of people around here.  If it comes here looking for me, some of them could get hurt."  There he goes again.

"You can't be serious."

"Come on."

He stepped past me and stuck his head out the door, looking across the yard.  After a second, he turned and waved for me to follow.

"Doesn't this seem excessive to you?"

"If it does, that can only mean you don't fully understand."

Again, Bob's language was a little clunky, but I think I followed his meaning.  I didn't have time to dwell on it though.  He stepped aside and quickly ushered me out.

Outside, one of the neighbours had come outside onto his porch.

"Oooh.  Hey, Bob.  Who's the girl?"

"Oh, hi.  I'm..."  I hesitated and tried to introduce myself to the neighbour, but Bob wouldn't allow it.  He just kept pushing me along.

"No time to talk right now, Ted.  We've got to get going."

And into the car, and made our way home.