The Adventures of Bob Smith

Going Home

-- Alex --

I lay there on the table for maybe an hour.  My latest captor left me alone there while it chased its prey.  This seemed so wrong.  This thing had this spaceship, with all kinds of ray guns and scanners, and yet I find myself tied to a table.  I sighed.  I'd been a captive for so long now that it was starting to seem normal.  That was the worst part, feeling my sanity slipping away.

I heard a hiss of air, and the door opening.  When my jailer came in, I saw something I hadn't expected to see.  It stumbled in and crashed headfirst into the far wall.  Its flesh was shredded like it had been in a fight with a rabid dog.  It left smudges of blood as it crossed the floor.  At least, I think it was blood.  It was gooey like blood, but it wasn't red.  It was more of a purplish-yellow colour.

It was followed into the ship by the smaller alien from before.  It didn't look anywhere near as battered as the first.  The fugitive made a direct line for me, brandishing claws on its hands like a cat.  It reached up with those talons while glaring down at me.  So this was the fugitive that the whole universe was trying to capture.  I closed my eyes and prepared for the end.

"I'm so sorry to put you through this."

"What?"  I opened my eyes.

"I said I'm sorry."

"Are you...?"  There was something about the way it apologized.  It was supposed to be the bad guy, and here it was, apologizing for what the other creature had done.

There was a clunk.  We both turned to see what it was.  The door had closed, and that other alien was sitting down to the controls.  A faint rumbling all around us told me that we weren't on the ground anymore.

"Looks like I win after all."

The little fugitive alien turned back to me for just a brief moment.  "Could you excuse me for a second?"

It seemed like a strange time to be polite.  I watched this little alien calmly walk over to the control panel, bury its talons in the other's shoulders and haul it out of its seat.  After throwing my kidnapper to the floor, it plopped down into the driver's seat and started groping at the controls.

"Let's see... Landing system.  Aha.  Hang on.  This is going to be rough."

"I don't care as long as I get back in one piece!"

I wasn't quite hysterical.  At least, I think I wasn't.  My hero wasn't kidding, though.  It was rough.  You'd think this thing had never flown a spaceship before.  It was like a bad rollercoaster ride, made all the worse by the fact that I was still strapped to a table in the middle of the ship.  Finally, the little guy got the hang of the controls and touched down.  I couldn't bear to even open my eyes.

"Oh, God.  Is it over?"

"That's up to, well, that."  I peeked out from under my eyelids as it reached out a claw to point to the other alien.  "Open the door."

The larger alien made a noise that sounded like a cross between a groan, a sigh, a wheeze and an expletive.  Then it mumbled something I completely didn't understand.  The other alien seemed to understand it, though, because it tapped on the controls for a moment and the door opened.

There was only one thing left to do before we could leave.  I was still tied down, but those claws made short work of that problem.

"Thank you so much."

"No."  It seemed very sombre, almost depressed.

"What do you mean, 'No'?  You just saved me."

It shook its head.  Was I talking nonsense?

"No, I didn't.  I put you in danger twice.  Two hunters came looking for me, and here you are caught in the middle of it."  For an alien monster, this creature was strangely articulate.

"But you didn't have to come back for me.  You could have just..."

"Stop it.  It's all my fault.  Go.  I'm sure you don't want to spend any more time here."

"I couldn't just do that.  I don't even know your name and you rescued me twice in one night."

"I don't want to get you into any more trouble."

I felt a rush of panic come over me as it turned away.  It was as if a hundred alien bounty hunters were waiting in the shadows to take me away at any moment.

"What?  You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"

"Pardon?"

"Lately, every single time I'm alone, a horrible monster appears and takes me prisoner."  I tried to be strong, but I was trembling.  "You've been saving me all night.  Would it really be such a big deal to have me around for a little while longer?"

"Oh, no.  You're going to be more trouble."

"No, I won't.  You'll hardly know I'm there."

"Do you have any idea what you're saying?"

"Why don't you explain it?"

My hero held up its hand.  "When I go home, I don't look like this."

The armoured forearm, tipped with talons, looked menacing; but only for a moment.  Within seconds, the talons pulled back into the hand.  The armoured padding sank into the flesh of the arm.  The colour changed from a dark gray to a healthy peachy skin-tone.  I had to shake my head.  I was now looking at an alien with a human hand.

"I change into a regular person, so that people don't know I'm a monster."

"You're not really a monster."

"Yes, I am.  Look at that.  They came here to get me and look what I did."

He was pointing over at the other alien.  I looked.  Then, I shrugged.

"So what?  Self-defense.  Besides, between the two of them, I've been locked up for the last week.  What does that make them?"

He continued to try making excuses.  "It's not just that.  I can't have you know who I am out there."

"Don't worry, I can keep a secret."

"I can't put you in that position.  I'm sorry."

The strange little alien turned to walk away, but I had one more ace up my sleeve.  "Thanks for the drink, by the way."

He spun around just glared at me.  If looks could kill, then at that moment he really would have been the monster that he thinks he is.  He didn't seem too sure how to react, so I continued.

"Oh, come on.  You can cover up your face all you like, but you're still the same."

The deadly seriousness started to fade out of his face.  "I am?"

"Well, the voice is different, but you still talk the same."

"How so?"

"Well, you're still blaming yourself for everything, for one.  Besides, I've had the whole week to think it through."

Somehow, I got to him.  He seemed to resign himself to my presence.  "I'm sure I'll regret this."

He turned around to walk away, but waved for me to come along.  Together, we walked off into the night.