Deepest Desire [NaLu AU]

Chapter XIII

I let Levy and a mostly recovered Wendy take care of Lucy. She'd been in much worse shape than Wendy and I wasn't sure why, but I didn't have time to question it. One thing I'd learned about my little sister was that she was a skilled doctor. We hadn't had a chance to hire a doctor onto our ship before, and usually just made cures up while Levy became our makeshift, self-taught doctor. But Wendy knew exactly what she was doing when it came to medicines. Doctors were rare, and I was lucky that my little sister was one of the few truly skilled doctors out there.

While they were taking care of the injured or sick people, I was helping Gray with taking care of the ship. That storm was one of the worst I'd ever seen and lasted until just before sunrise. I got no sleep last night, and was already exhausted from our long night, but forced myself to help out. The ship was riddled with holes and broken parts, and Gray got a crew of his most knowledgeable apprentices to help him. He was our Boatswain and his job was to know everything about the ship, from its current condition and what was needed to fix it, to its ideal condition and what needed to be done to maintain it. He was ordering his crew around and I saw Erza watching me.

I was directing waves of powerful heat everywhere that puddles existed or were developing. My job was to keep the ship from flooding and sinking by evaporating any water on board. With my already exhausted and sleep deprived state, it was much harder than it sounded. I knew Gray was working hard to make the repair go as fast as possible, but I couldn't help growling at him to hurry up through gritted teeth.

Eventually, I was so exhausted, I had to lean on Erza for support. She tried to order me to take a break, even going as far as to use my name instead of my title, but I couldn't risk the ship sinking. We could barely afford new repair parts, let alone a new ship entirely. Besides, I loved this ship and I'd be damned before I let it sink.

My coherent thoughts sort of shut down after that, my brain directing all remaining energy towards keeping the ship afloat. I remembered Gray announcing that the ship was repaired enough for us to reach the nearest port and buy new repair supplies. After that, I finally allowed myself to collapse in exhaustion and took a well-deserved nap.

I didn't wake up in time for the ship to reach the port that evening. I didn't wake up in time to see Erza handle inspection or Gray finish the remaining reconstruction of Fairy Tail. In fact, I only woke up long after everyone else had already retired from the long day.

Of course, after having slept for over twelve solid hours, I wasn't tired anymore. My sleep schedule is really screwed up. I walked around the ship, not sure exactly what I was doing. Usually, I had a night shift crew posted, but it looked like they had opted to sleep too, leaving the anchor lowered and something wedged into the steering wheel to prevent us from moving or getting steered off course.

I sat on the edge of the ship, letting my feet dangle over the side. I looked down. The ocean had never scared me because I knew that no matter what, I was always stronger than it. I could always manage to find a way out. But I knew that the rest of the people on this ship didn't have that luxury and I really couldn't imagine how it felt to fall into the ocean and know that you were done. That there was no way out. That you were going to die and there was nothing you could do about it.

I stared down into the sea, my eyes piercing through the darkness to see every fine detail of the night. I saw the clear sky reflected into the ocean and admired the calmness that lay across its surface. But I knew that at any moment, it could snap and drag us all down with it in its anger.

In a way, the ocean reminded me of myself: calm, but unpredictable. I knew at any minute, it could take over. At any minute, I could kill every living soul on the surface of this ship in an instant and not even notice. I wouldn't even feel bad about it either. That thought gave me pause. It made me question why I was risking the lives of so many people, but then I remembered. You're doing this so that you can save them. Because just like that man said, at any minute the world could fall.