Insomnia

You know what sucks?

((AN; Bunker down will be out within the next day/next couple of days.))

I probably should have been paying attention in class, I probably should have also not glared at Mr. Jefferson, it's not that it was specifically meant for him but he was just the first person I happened to look at when I could no longer hold the neutral expression I had been using since the beginning of the day.

But I just couldn't be bothered with it.

I'm so thankful that Kate is getting the help that she needs and I'm happy she's away from any toxic behavior or people here.

But...

We just went right back to classes like it was any other day, Nathan was gone, sure- which I was glad for but as far as the majority of the school was considered, it was 'just another day'.

Ok, so it may have been unrealistic to expect the school to suddenly cancel all of the classes but still.

How many people even cared about what happened yesterday? Ms. Grant cared, of course she cared. I'm not sure she even has it in her to be mean or uncaring.

If she did then I couldn't picture it.

Warren and Daniel cared, Dana did too. Plus Chloe, though if I'm just counting blackwell's current student body...

I wasn't quite sure who exactly I was supposed to be mad at. Aside from Nathan.

So I had proceeded to bottle up all my anger and confusion, some of it slipping out here and there. Most people didn't notice it. I was quiet and didn't say anything and giving someone a look, glaring daggers or no, was pretty easy to ignore or miss.

But then there was Mr. Jefferson.

Of course he would be the only one who actually noticed me.

He had said something to me, something I didn't quite catch.

I'm pretty sure it had something to do with staying after class.

'Wow, that's new and something that he totally hasn't done for ages now.'

I managed not to roll my eyes.

'I don't think he's going to be asking me for an update on my "Every Day Heroes" entry.'

I wasn't sure if I should be glad about that.

"Max?"

'But what if he asks that too? No...no, he wouldn't right? ...I swear if he follows this up by another question about this stupid contest, I'm going to hit him in the face with one of his own cameras-'

"Maxine Caufield!"

I jerked my head up and blinked, "What?"

And...the room was empty. And I was still sitting at my desk.

'How did I not hear the bell?'

"Max, come here please.", Jefferson motioned to the front of the class where a lone chair was propped up next to his own desk.

I gathered up my things but then paused and looked back at him.

"Why?"

He sighed heavily, slipping off his glasses and set them aside to rub at his temples.

Before he could respond and with a mixture of lack of sleep, frustration and just...anger. My filter had stopped working entirely.

"You look younger without them..."

He tensed for a moment, hand hovering over his glasses and turned his head to face me.

He squinted at me, with was looked like confusion. But something...different took its place. But only for a moment, then it was gone.

Whatever it had been, it made me nervous.

He repeated himself. "Max, come here."

The 'uncharacteristic Max Caufield' train was still chugging down the tracks, so instead of just getting up and walking over like I should have...I just leaned back in my chair and stared right back. "Why? Why should I?"

He said something under his breath and motioned again to the seats. "Because we need to talk and you're not a child, so stop acting like one."

I didn't budge.

With a muttered line of...something, Jefferson smoothly walked over and shut the door, then turned on his heel, snatching up a chair as he went and in one swift motion, flipped the chair around and sat down.

For a moment all I could do was tilt my head, straddling a chair did not seem like a very teacher like or professional thing to do.

Then again this man treated our desks as impromptu chairs.

But we did the same, so this was far stranger.

"So, can we going to have a civil conversation now?"

That one obnoxious line from grade school came to mind.

And it left my mouth before I could stop it.

"I don't know. Can you?"

The look on his face instantly made me regret that decision.

"Clearly something is troubling you. Being so flippant, disrespectful- disrupting class. Multiple times."

When he spoke again, he did so gently, calmly. In a way that I had never heard before.

And definitely one that did not match the expression on his face. Though it softened as he spoke.

"This is very unlike you Max."

Careful to avoid my camera, I hugged my bag in some feeble attempt at comfort.

"You can talk to me Max."

That made me straighten up, suddenly snapping at him, "Everyone has been saying that. Principal Wells said that-" I began but was cut off mid-sentence.

"I am not Principal Wells.", I opened my mouth to reply but he cut me off as he held up a finger.

"We handle things very differently. As I'm sure you are quite aware.",

"I'm not here to bootlick or babysit Blackwells 'Golden boy'. I am here to teach, not hold anyone's hand."

Taking a moment to turn his chair around to sit properly, he added, "I do however, still care about the wellbeing of my students. Some more than others, I'll admit. And I regret how I've responded to or handled some situations."

He looked me dead in the eye, "Like Kate. I should have been more...delicate with her, to say the least. I could have been a contributor to her stress, I believe I was. If by a little."

I couldn't maintain eye contact with that comment.

"I assume that has something to do with your duress. Though I can only guess by how much I contribute.",

Pausing, his voice took on a hint of amusement, "Also, why you looked ready to stab someone with a pen for the duration of class today."

I just gave a nod.

"Despite potentially being part of the problem, I'm always here to listen Max. If you have concerns, I'll hear you out."

Mr. Jefferson finally stood up and walked back up to his desk, snagging a note as he went and began scribbling something down.

"It would seem that you're late to your next class," he began, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I've written you a note with an explanation." He said as he handed me the slip of paper as I finally reached the front of the room.

"Attending another class will not be doing you any good for the moment. Go back to your dorm, take a walk, just try and relax as best you can. Rest if you're able."

More nodding as I headed out, but as I reached for the handle on the door, Mr. Jefferson called out one last night, making me look back over my shoulder.

"And Max? While Nathan may be expelled, I don't doubt that he'll sneak back in at some point. So let me know if he starts bothering you again."

Though faint, he smiled briefly.

"He won't be a problem."