Chapter 11

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Even though marching band season was over, we still had events to do. Every now and then we went to small performances on campus, like for dinners or promotional events. However, spring break was the big one. We were going on a study abroad trip over spring break to Ireland, where we were going to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade.

Garrett and I lived on a normal routine for a while, taking each other out on a date on Valentine's Day, hanging out on days off, having sex, going out. Luckily I received a study abroad scholarship that most students qualified for. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have been able to go. Garrett and I were going to room together, because it was two to a room like our trip to Colombia.

We sat next to each other on the plane, which would be a long flight. Everyone sort of noticed Garrett and I being closer, but I don't think everyone realized we were together. Which was fine. Cassidy sat next to us, and we tried to preoccupy our time on the flight, but eventually everyone fell asleep as it got dark. I was at the window seat, so I had a hard time sleeping because it looked beautiful outside. Garrett cuddled up to me, sleeping on my shoulder. I was reading a book for one of my classes.

"After this, we only have like...eight week? Six weeks? Until the end of the year," Cassidy whispered.

"Yeah, don't remind me," I said.

"What are you doing after graduation?"

"No idea. I'm applying to places but it's all different."

"What about you and Garrett?"

I sighed, looking at her. "We haven't talked about it. He got accepted into Berkeley, so he's going there. I just...don't know what he wants in regards to me."

She nodded, saying, "Well, I'm sure he won't want to break up or anything."

I shrugged. "We just have to talk about it."

I didn't want to think about our future because I feared we would go our separate ways. I kept applying to jobs but hadn't heard anything back from anyone yet besides the couple of places that already told me no. Garrett would tell me not to base my life around him, but I wasn't going home, and honestly California was one of the best places for me to go to actually find and launch a career. I wanted to be a creator basically, whether with dance, theater, art, writing, music, or some combination. It just made sense to go to California. I loved Garrett, and even when I pretended to hate him I still pictured a future together. I could see us moving to a city together and living in an apartment with big windows and lots of plants, throwing parties for all of our gay friends. We would have dream jobs and pay off our loans. Then when we were in our early thirties we would decide to settle down and start a family, moving to a nice house about thirty minutes from the city. We would have a big yard with lots of trees to make it a little private, but still be in a neighborhood so our kids could have friends. We would build a home together, fill the home with memories and love, buy a family friendly car. Maybe I could work from home so I could be there for my kids and be the father that I always wanted.

I forced myself to not think about the future during the trip. It was my last event with the band, and I wanted to enjoy it even though the directors didn't like me and half of the band didn't either. Maybe for this trip I could win people over so I wouldn't feel bad about ever visiting after graduation.

After checking into the hotel, we just went to sleep and woke up early the next morning for a performance. Ireland was really beautiful, and even though we were all tired I was excited. My family and I never took vacations. I only traveled when I came to college, and Colombia was my first time out of the country. Normally the band only traveled all four years, so it was really fortunate that we could get two international trips back to back.

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