I'm not sat infront of a mirror right now but i know my reflection well enough so here it goes,
I have shoulder length chocolate brown hair, The ends are dead and hard to do anything with at times, My eyes decided what shade of blue they want to be daily, I like them when i put mascara on it really brings out the shine to them. Every other part of my face i hate, My nose, My mouth, My freckles everything.
When i look at myself in the mirror i see something i'm not happy with, People say it's better to be a girl with curves then have a girl thats skinny, Well if i'm truthful i'd rather be skinny because i hate my body, It's caused me to be bullied in the past and thats the only thing i wish i could change about myself.
People think i'm strong so they can insult me and it'll be fine, Yeah it is whilst your around, You have no idea the amount of times i've conciderd self harming or running away if it meant escaping the pain of your words daily. I thought about it day in day out for weeks but thats when i decided it was time to do something for me instead of all the people trying to bring me down, So i didn't and i grew stronger.
I'm proud of the person i've become, I don't let people walk all over me anymore and yeah i've lost a lot of people because i changed but it was a good change. Remember how i said in one of my other letters that you should only change to make yourself happy and not for others? I mean that.
Writing these 30 letters has made me realise a lot of things, The most important thing is that i need to get the people i called my friends back, I read back through them all and i read the memories they'd given me, They're the people that count and i might have had some amazing memories with people in the past that aren't going to be in my future but i'd also like to thank them for the times we had because one day i'll look back on them and that's all they'll be.. A memory, But they'll have all taught me something, One day everything can be fine and the next it could be the absolute worst, Appreciate what you have before it's gone.
I need to stop worrying about the concequences i need to be more like Nialler, Care free and worry about the aftermath later, I need to stop being a goody goody and let loose every once in a while because the only person it can effect is me.
I realised i've never really thanked you for reading these letters. I know i may repeat myself a lot but thats because i'm sure of the things i'm saying, I don't want to be one of those people that questions everything they say and do because then it means i'm not confident and i am. I may not follow my own advice at times but i want you guys to. You should all do this challenge, It involves digging into your brain to go back to certain times for you to answer the questions and over the days i've learnt a lot more about myself then i did before.
My resolution from this day on is not to give a damn what people think, I'm me and at the end of the days haters gunna hate and i'm okay with that. I'll fight for what i believe in and trust me i'll fight hard because that's what everyone would do right?
But most importantly i'll look in the mirror everyday and everyday i'll improve myself until one day i will look in the mirror and i'll smile because looking back at me will be someone i'm finally happy with,
Most people won't know how i see myself and some of the people that see this will be people i'm no longer friends with so it will come as a shock to them to see that this is how i've been feeling whilst everyday i went to school and listened to them bitch about eachother. I'm through with you and i'm going to make a new friend: Me.
