Am I allowed to fall in love with him?

Chapter 11

Dessie’s POV

WHY, WHY, WHY DID THAT STUPID IDIOT HAVE TO RUIN MY/OUR MOMENT?!

I am so pissed. Why? Hindi ko rin alam. Kasi naman e, masaya na ako, tapos susulpot siya ulit? Teka nga, bakit ba ako naasar sa pagpapel niya sa status ni Dwayne.

Aaaah, oo nga pala, bigla nalang siya nanlamig tapos the cliché “it’s not you, it’s me”, and then, hiwalay na agad. Walang usap-usap. Tapos ganiyan bigla?

Hindi ako bitter. I think the right term would be disappointed. He threw away not our love-relationship but even those good years of friendship. Napailing nalang ako.

Actually, I think I handled the break-up pretty well. After nga nun, I don’t recall crying myself to sleep, partying til I get numb, going on dates. NOTHING.  Just my usual routine minus him.

Nag-isip-isip naman ako nung unang mga araw e. Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave it broken rather than hurt yourself putting it back together.

Fine, umiyak ako, pero nung alam kong may mali na. It’s perfectly okay to cry. I’m the type of person who can keep her emotions in check but I also know when to let it all out. Ayokong biglang magbreakdown or whatever. I promised myself that when I cry, it should never be the same reason again.

I took the break-up in a positive manner. I thought that this may probably be the best for the both of us. Apparently, totoo nga. Masaya ako. It made me see things in a different perspective and made me more grateful sa kung ano man ang meron ako. It changed me all for the better.

Naalala ko tuloy kung paano nagdrama mga kuya ko sa mga break-ups nila.

Lagi ako sinasabihan ni Kuya Leb na “Don’t be afraid to let go, to give up, or to move on. Sometimes, it’s what you have to do in order to find that ONE person who will never make you do any of those things.”

That and maybe my hopeless romantic self never thought ill of Justin or any guy who I almost fell for. Kumbaga hate the sin, not the sinner. I still believe na one day, there’s someone out there for me, that God made him especially for me.

Dapat better, hindi bitter diba? Kuya Wyn also told me to carry myself like a queen and I’ll attract a king. Say nyo diba? Nagpapakamakata si eldest kuya. Pero no kidding, tignan mo naman, the unreachable Dwayne said he’s gonna court me diba? What’s even better?

We’re engaged.

Dwayne’s POV

Maingay sa labas ng kwarto. Yung unan na yapos ko inilagay ko sa mukha ko, trying to fervently shut out the noise. Narinig ko na bumukas ang pinto.

“Pre, tulog e.” bulong ni Alrick.

“Eh ano?” malakas na sagot ni Shaun.

Dumapa ako, at yun ends nung unan dinikit ko sa mga tenga ko. Can’t you guys get a hint? Grrrrr!

Maya-maya may nag-‘tsk’ sabay nawala sa kamay ko yun unan at pinagpapalo ako ng unan ng mga ugok.

“ETO NA NGA E! GISING NA….” napabangon tuloy ako nang di oras at napakamot nalang ako sa ulo. “Ano bang meron nambubulabog kayo dyan?”

“Ahhh, ehhh, congrats pala!” sabi ni Alrick with a sheepish smile.

Creepy. Ano kaya meron?

“Nga pre, kamusta naman. Nagloloko-loko lang kami dati behind your backs, tapos nagkadevelop-an kayo right under our noses? Tssss.” Loko talaga si Shaun.

Napatingin naman ako kay Neil na umiiling at nakasimangot. “Kakasimula mo palang, may unos ka agad na pagdadaanan…. YATA.”

Napa-huh nalang ako e.