You're Like Heroin To Me

The Second Night

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Later that week Slash starts coming and getting into bed with me when he gets home at night. He's really quiet about it when he comes and climbs under the covers; like he's trying not to wake me up so I pretend I'm sleeping and he's gone in the morning; but for a few hours I get to sleep wrapped in his arms. I don't know what's going on, I have no idea why he sleeps in my bed instead of bringing some girl home. He always has some girl in his bed; at least he did until he slept with me. Does he have feelings for me? Should I ask him? Should I let him know I'm not asleep? Letting him know that I'm not asleep becomes the plan because really I don't know that I could just ask him about it during the day out of the blue. So that night when he comes in and crawls into bed next to me I turn over and put my arms around him too and get him to lay on my chest. He kind of looks at me like he's not sure I'm not angry.

"Come on, lay down, you've been coming in here and sleeping next to me all week anyway." He lays down hesitantly and I start stroking his hair and he relaxes.

"You knew I was here?" Slash asks timidly.

"I knew you were here but it seemed like maybe you didn't want me to know because you're gone in the morning so I didn't say anything. Why are you here?"

"I, I don't know. Ever since the other night I can't go to sleep without you," he says quietly. "Is it ok?"

He still won't look at me. "It's fine Slash, it's fine. You tired?"

"Yeah," he whispers and yawns.

"We have a whole day of media shit tomorrow, go to sleep then. Are you going to be here in the morning?" I ask him, holding my breath.

"Do you want me to be Izzy?" he asks and finally looks up at me.

"Yes," I answer quietly and look straight into his eyes as I tell him that. He smiles. I let go of the breath I was holding and smile back.

"Then I'll be here," he says and he leans up and kisses me softly. Not a hot, lustful, kiss but a quiet, sweet, gentle kiss. The kind you give someone you might really care about. My heart is racing and I know he can feel it. I cup the side of his face and kiss him back the same way. I do really care about him, but he's not ready for that and I know it. He pulls away but doesn't move, he just rests his forehead on mine. "Goodnight Izzy," he says and kisses me one more time.

"Good night Slash," I answer and he moves back down and snuggles into my body, his head once again on my chest, his leg thrown over mine, his arm across my body. I put the arm I have around his body on his hip and I hold the hand that's spread out on my side. He smiles to himself, I can see him do it. It's ok, I'm smiling too.
..............................................

A few weeks later I stumble in after Axl's giant New Year's Eve party that Slash and Duff left early. I find Slash sitting on the couch in the living room a bottle of Jack that was half empty sitting beside him on the floor. I'm pretty drunk but not totally wasted and I can see in the reflection of the light of the TV that he's crying. "Slash?" I ask, trying not to stumble as I walk across the room. He runs his hands up over his face brushing away the tears and moving the hair out of his face at the same time.

"Hey Izz," he slurs.

"You ok man?" I ask, because you don't look like you're ok." He shrugs.

"It's not me that's not going to be ok," he whispers looking down and grabbing the bottle of Jack off the floor and taking a swig of it.

"Who's not ok?" I ask. "Is it Duff? Did something happen to him? Is that why you left early?" I ask anxiously plopping down on the couch beside him.