Amaryllis

Chapter Five: Invisible Hearts, Dead Hearts

Chapter Five: Invisible Hearts, Dead Hearts

 

                   The fall was inevitable. It was bound to happen. She collapsed as a result of untreated lethargy. Her heart pumping fast, her hands made a connection to the ground, supporting her weight. The bullets. Would they come down? Would they come down upon her and Ascelin, fixing all that had been wronged? Or would they disappear into the night, harming none?

                  

                   She had shot three times, one shot for every being that should die – Ascelin, Fletcher and herself. She had thirty minutes of her life left, but she could not bear any more. Time ticked slowly, taunting her, leaving her to fight the pains of the pills on her own. Her stomach burned, the feelings of nausea were too strong to bear.

                   The bullets were a weak statistic. The chances of them coming down were too low for her comfort. She had failed. Too weak to shot those who hurt her directly, too weak to end her own time faster. Her instinct wanted her to live, but her mind was gone. She wasn’t real. The remaining fragments of her true soul have disappeared with time, fading away with every second that ticked by.

                   They say pain involves sensory nerves, stimulus and the brain. But her pain didn’t limit to that. Her pain wasn’t an effect of her physical pain. Trauma. She was traumatised. To live or to die, she wasn’t going to be okay either way. There was too much. Too many memories, too many happenings – was it real? Was she real?

                   She closed her eyes, tightening her eyelids until she saw a light within the darkness.

                   “Are you okay?” she heard her brother say. But the only thing that came to her mind was the fact that the bullet didn’t hit him, nor did it hit her. The bullet was a failed statistic. A failure – like herself.

                   Amaryllis is the name given to a flower. It is native in the Western Cape region of South Africa. Her mother loved the flower. It was her favourite. And it was indeed a gift that her father had presented to her mother that won her heart. The way her mother had once described the flower was fascinating. The stem was green, an emerald green that reflected the rays of the Sun in perfect harmony. The leaves were small, and of a faded green colour, serving their purpose in nourishing the plant. The petals of the Amaryllis flower were fascinating. Traditionally blood-red in colour, six in number, with a white pigment forming beautiful stripe-like patterns from the middle of the plant to the centre of the petal.

                   But the symbolism of the Amaryllis plant was what attracted the girl the most. Her mother had focused on its beauty, but the girl focused on its symbolism, because to her, the inside was all that mattered. One symbol of Amaryllis is unrequited love – of having to love someone so dearly who doesn’t love you back. A prime example of her love for Fletcher, who saw her no more than a friend and left her. Of her love for Ascelin, who had also left her; and of her love for her parents, whom, according to Ascelin, had died – leaving her to face the torments of the world alone.

                   It symbolised innocence. The very same, pure, white innocence that filled her heart, rendering her weak and naïve to the world around her. She never understood the world. There was so much she didn’t understand. So much that she couldn’t comprehend with her innocent mind, leaving her hurt and left behind.

                   It also symbolised determination. The very effect that was engraved into her instinct. She was determined to right the wrong. She was determined to bring her life together before her passing - determined to not give up, and to not be wound up hurt once again. There was a limit to the amount of pain that one would be able to bear.

                   The girl opened her eyes, then stood up, regaining her lost energy. She knew she had limited time left, perhaps a minute or so. “I’m cheating death,” she stated, picking up the gun and aiming it at her silent brother. “Just you wait and see.”

                   Ascelin looked at her, his facial expression nonchalant. There was no emotion in his eyes as he stared at her blankly, daring her to try and shoot. The girl smiled, tilting her head a little to the right. “You think I can’t do it?” she asked, “You think I can’t do it and that’s why you’re standing there, waiting for me. Well, think again, Ascelin, for it’s your last chance for doing so-”

                   She was interrupted by a new voice.

                                                                      “Amaryllis.”

A/N: This chapter was unedited as usual. It may be a lot shorter than my other updates but it was sort of intended. I don't know... Do you think I should try to lengthen it or keep it as it is?