Amaryllis

Chapter One: Matters of the Heart

Chapter One: Matters of the Heart

Her teeth chattered as a side effect to the bitter frost. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror that was in front of her for the briefest of moments, before turning away from the image. Her eyes were glazed, and her hair was messy. Her skin was pale, but her cheeks were red.

She made her way to the kitchen, taking out a clear, plastic cup. She brought it to the sink, opened the cold water tap, and watched the tap water escape from one container to the next. She held her cup on her eye-level, inspecting its contents. With an approved expression, she placed the water-filled cup on the table.

She opened the drawer next to her, the cutlery drawer, and took out a knife. She rested the tip of the knife on her fingertip, pushing it down gently, enough to feel something, but she didn't place enough force to penetrate the skin. She smiled at the mild sensation, putting down the knife. She then took a sort of rag and tied it around her waist, forming a belt-like material. She placed the knife in her belt, positioning it in a way as not to cause her any potential damage.

She then made her way to the medical cabinet. She took out a bottle of pills from the highest shelf. She walked slowly to the table, and took a seat. With a trembling hand, she placed the bottle on the table. She let out a sigh as she tilted her head back.

She ran her fingers through her long, brown hair. Sighing again as she untangled some of the knots. It was her distraction from the moment. It was the only time she had given herself to be calm... Before she let it all go.

The water was clear, uncontaminated by substances that could kill. That was before she threw in a couple of small, white pills. There was a reaction, dissolving the pills and creating a mist in the water. The girl picked up the cup and brought it to her lips, she closed her eyes as she drank its contents.

Four hours, she thought, just four.

***

The girl lay there, passed out on the couch for no more than thirty minutes. Her time was running out, yet she slept, despite the fact that she had eternity of sleeping to do. She dreamed a dreamless sleep, yet it was full of her distraught thoughts. She thought of her family, her beloved family. They were what had kept her moving on this far. They were the ones who supported her, cared for her, loved her...

Until they broke her heart.

Ascelin, her older brother, the one she had loved more than she had loved herself, had been the cause of her suffering. He was the one who had ran away first, turning her life upside down. What had hurt her the most was that he hadn't told her what was the cause of his misery, but he was the cause of hers.

Her heart beat fast. Her breath was troubled and shaken. Angry sobs escaped from her as she remembered how he left. But she was not awake, she was crying in her sleep.

"Whatever happens, remember that I love you," he had spoken to her in a whisper. He then left, and never looked back. He was only a child, the same age as she was now, a mere minor who packed his bags and left.

Their mother had cried throughout the night, blaming herself for Ascelin's so-called 'demise'. Her whole family believed that Ascelin killed himself. But she didn't. She knew her brother, he wouldn't end it all. He always stood up to his oppressors. He always stood up for what he believed to be right. He would never back down from a fight - let alone find an easy way out of it.