The Deal

Chapter 19 - Then She Burst Into Flames

{Whispered something in your ear ~ it was a perverted thing to say ~ but I said it anyway ~ made you smile and look away.'

Nothings Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex}

Chapter 19 – Then She Burst Into Flames

"What do you want?"

I looked away from Bacon – who had somehow managed to tangle his lead around all four legs of the picnic table I was sat at - and squinted up at Charlie, who was unfortunately stood directly in front of the sun, effectively blinding me as I turned to look at him.

"Oh, hey," I said, blinking rapidly to clear my eyes as his silhouette moved to sit on the opposite bench. "Didn't see you there."

"Yeah, I'm sure," he huffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and glaring sullenly down at the splintered tabletop. "Can we just get this over with? I have things to do."

"Sure thing," I replied quickly, before faltering. The stiches in my torso were distractingly itchy. "Well, actually, I'm not really sure where to start. I'm glad you could make it, though. I thought it was about time the two of us sat down to talk."

He looked up at me then, his doe-eyes resentful.

"Oh, really?" he replied. "What about, I wonder? Could it possibly have anything to do with Damon Smith and how you abandoned all of your friends to become his very own personal slave? Is that what you want to talk about?"

"Thank you for summing up my behaviour so articulately," I deadpanned. "But if you wouldn't mind, I'd prefer it if you didn't act so high-and-mighty when I'm trying to apologise. I understand that you're upset with me, but that's no excuse to be rude."

"I'm rude?" Charlie squawked. "Was I the one pretending to be a nice person while secretly screwing around with the schools most infamous delinquent?"

"Listen," I said, bristling over his tone. "I didn't ask you here to remind me of what a crappy person I am. I owe you an apology, but maybe you're not ready to hear it."

Bacon whimpered his displeasure at being tangled up under the table. Taken aback by Charlie's abrasiveness, and my own snappiness, I took a moment to reach down and unclip the monstrous fluff ball from his lead, sending him careening off after the unsuspecting dogs and their owners that were roaming the park.

Charlie's eyes remained narrowed, but I could sense his curiosity. I tried my best to smooth my ruffled feathers.

"I know you think that I abandoned you – and I guess in a sense I kind of did –but believe me that was not my intention. You're a good friend who I actually enjoy spending time with, which you know is rare for me. I only did what I did as a way to keep my promise to Damon. I gave him my word that I wouldn't tell anyone about what he was doing outside of school, and I was afraid that if I spent more time than necessary with you guys I'd blurt it all out. You know what I'm like."

I tried to gauge Charlie's thoughts from his expression, but drew a blank, so I ploughed determinedly on.

"As for Warren, he knew that I was helping Damon. At least, he knew about it the first time I did. After that, it all got a bit - complicated. In hindsight, I should have just been honest with him, and I'm not really sure why I wasn't. It all seemed so complicated. It still does. But I never cheated on him. I didn't go into this looking to hurt people. I handled it horribly, I know - I was in way over my head."

Talking about it like this made me feel uncomfortable. And emotional. Neither one of us was prepared to deal with a hysterical outburst from me, so I swallowed back the dryness in my throat and waited to see if Charlie would speak.