serenity // luke hemmings

2.05

From: Luke Hemmings <lukehemmings@hmail.com>
Sent: Monday, 28 September 2015
To: Alexandra White <alex_andra.white@gotmail.com>
Subject: What did the subject lines ever do to you, huh?

Alex,

I don't know if I should be happy that you're not upset, or sad that you don't miss me that much. Like, c'mon I know I said not to miss me but I was just trying to be a gentleman, I'd like you to miss me a little. I'm kidding, Alex. ily no matter what babe (even if you don't miss me at all).

That whole last sentence made me uncomfortable. I mean, what even was that?

Of course I don't mind you wearing my shirt! I already told you that it looks better on you anyway. Am I allowed to admit that I really like the idea of you wearing it? I like the idea that a piece of me is always there with you; and even if it makes you miss me occasionally, I know that it'll remind you that I'm not gone forever and I'll be back eventually. Is that narcissistic? I don't even care, if nothing else you look amazing in that shirt.

Just so you know, I did get a laugh out of the paragraph. You shouldn't be embarrassed about it because it was possibly one of the most endearing things I've ever read. This next part is most definitely going to sound narcissistic; but I love that you think about such insignificant things to do with me, that you wonder about the littlest things.

Married at twenty-one, I can't even begin to imagine that. In two years' time I can't see myself being married, in a long term relationship maybe, but not married. How can you even be sure that they're the right person for you at such a young age. Your friend Bex must have some balls because I couldn't do it, I'm telling you Alex. Can you imagine being settled down with the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, in just two years from now? I can't.

I'm really glad you don't hate my band, by the way. I'm kind of attached to them and I'm kinda attached to you and I'd hate to have to choose. I can't even describe the feeling of standing on a stage in front of thousands of people and having them scream your lyrics back at you. Every show is just this insane adrenaline rush.

You said 'my Luke'. You don't understand how much I smiled when I saw that.

The fans and a lot of the people we know in the industry only get to see @Luke 5SOS, as you put it. He's that shy kid that comes alive on stage and who smiles in interviews and still giggles like a school girl when he gets asked to sign boobs; and I'm not going to lie, that guy is me. But he's only part of me.

You and the boys are a few of the very select group of people who get to see what I guess is the whole me. You guys get to see all that plus you get me when I feel lost, when I'm just having an off day. You get the subdued and the crazy. You guys get absolutely everything.

You've seen that side of me since the first day we met; I had no hesitation showing that side of myself to you.

The moment I saw you, sitting there with the same lost look in your eyes that I had in mine, I wanted nothing more than for you to know me. The whole me.

Yours,

Luke.