serenity // luke hemmings

2.03

From: Luke Hemmings <lukehemmings@hmail.com>
Sent: Monday, 21 September 2015
To: Alexandra White <alex_andra.white@gotmail.com>
Subject: Leave my subject lines alone!

Alex,

Alright, I've got a slight confession to make; I know you paint. I know for two reasons and the first one is significantly less weird than the second one is. So, that night I stayed at your apartment I noticed that you had a heap of paintings and I liked them so I spent some time looking at them. Then I noticed the initials 'A.W.' in the bottom corner and I kind of just assumed that was you.

Now, this is the weird part (don't hate me, please?), after our first day together I kind of Google searched you. I'm sorry! I just wanted to make sure you weren't an axe murder or something like that, I realise that this isn't sounding any better. Anyway, I Googled you and it came up with some article for an art competition you won. Again, I'm sorry.

You're really talented, if that makes any of this less stalker-ish. Even if it doesn't, what I've seen is absolutely incredible and I can't believe you've never had any lessons or things like that.

Moving right along; I was wondering where that shirt had gotten to. I wanted to wear it on stage the other day and I turned mine and Ash's hotel room upside down looking for it. At least I know it's in good hands, I love that shirt. But if it's not with me I wouldn't want it to be with anyone else but you (plus, I think it looked better on you anyway).

On a serious note though, destroy it. If it makes you feel better burn the shirt or give it away, anything. I know you're taking a huge chance with this whole undefinable us thing and I don't want it to be any harder for you than it has to be. I don't want you to miss me, I don't want you to feel lonely. So, even though I do love that shirt, I want you to destroy if it does either of those things. I'd rather have to find a new favourite shirt than know that I was the reason you were upset.

Similarly, if this ever gets to be too much for you destroy it too. Admittedly that would suck and I don't know how I'd deal with it, but I mean it. I know this can be difficult but I can't bear to be the reason you're hurting. So, as much as I don't ever want to lose whatever we have, if you need to let it go I understand. Just give me a few weeks warning or something, because I've grown quite attached to you, Miss White.

Wow, that was all really heavy. How about a subject change? Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Calum mentioned you on stage the other night. We were about to play 'She Looks So Perfect' and he turned around to the crowd and said "I bet Luke's got a specific girl in mind whenever we play this song" and I swear I've never blushed more in my life. I guess it's kind of true though, there's so many times when a song will remind me of you and I'll just smile to myself. What I think I'm trying to say is that there's reminders of you everywhere for me too.

Can you miss someone you barely know, someone you've spent hardly any time with? Because if you can; I miss you.

Yours,

Luke.