𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 || peter pevensie [1]

chapter fourteen ~ gone

"Maria?!" A heavy pressure lay on her chest, lifting away and dropping again at a rapid rate. "Maria, can you hear me? Please don't be dead!" a female voice cried. For a moment, Nimueh thought it might have been Yvaine, and that she would have to live out the remainder of her days surrounded by reminders of what she had lost. But as she forced open her eyes, she was met with the face of the middle-aged woman, Mrs Poplawski, who had looked after her since she was four years old. Jerking and rolling over, she heaved and spluttered up water onto the pebbles upon which she had been laid. "She's okay, my dears!" the woman cried.

Nimueh curled up, trying to stand to her feet. She was still shaking as five children surrounded her. All were in tears, blurting apologies for making her swim, vows never to make her go near the water again. The bright sunlight blazed down on her exposed shoulders, wet hair and clothes weighing her down. She didn't look at the children and only half took in their cries.

"Maria, are you okay?" asked Mrs Poplawski. "Does your chest hurt?"

Nimueh looked down to see her, now small, child's hand clenched into a fist against her chest. She tentatively opened up her hand and burst into sobs when she saw the ring and the pendant, still looped around the broken chain, pressed into her palm. A smile broke out onto her sullen face. She couldn't understand it. How could she bring herself to be happy, when she had lost so much? She couldn't tell the children, nor her caretaker, for who could possibly comprehend how over fifteen years could fit into the space of just a couple of minutes?

She walked over to where her scrolls still lay. Packing them into her bag, she started back up the pebble shore to the orphanage house.

"Are you sure you don't need a doctor?" Mrs Poplawski called from behind her. "Where are you going?"

Maria, once more, reached up to wipe away her still falling tears from her cheeks. "I'm almost sixteen. I'm going to find a house, a job, get away from here."

It was the second time she had come back from Narnia and halved in age. Maria was getting old, twice an adult, trapped in the body of a child. There was little room for heartbreak, even less for a love that she was foolish enough to think would last. She needed to get as far away from Lake Kibo as possible; she couldn't go back there, she couldn't risk being dragged back to a place that had once taken away her feelings of loss, and had now added more.

Yet she clung to the chain from which her two most sacred possessions hung. It was the only reminder she had of what it was to have a real family, and to be truly loved by the people around her. Even if she had made her choice, she wouldn't give up knowing what that felt like, not for all the treasure in Narnia.

♛

Peter tossed and turned in his bed, shivers scuttling over his limbs. Not even the soft snores of his brother could soothe him. It was as if, slowly, a hand had crept up around his throat and was tentatively tightening its grip.

With a loud huff, he threw back the covers and got up. He didn't bother lighting a candle, simply tread barefoot out of the bedroom. By what little moonlight slipped through the curtains, Peter stumbled through the house. He trailed his fingers along the walls, each of the shadows giving him the smallest chances of imagining he was touching to stone walls of Cair Paravel.

He reached the spare room with the wardrobe, twisting the doorknob in his too-small hand. Light streamed into the room from the uncovered window, painting his skin alabaster as he entered.

He hesitated before opening the door of the wardrobe. Try as he might, he could not tame the hope in his mind that maybe, just maybe, when he pulled back the coats, a pleasant breeze would rustle his hair, carrying with it the scent of autumn leaves or fresh spring flowers. But in his heart, he knew that it was nothing but a fantasy.

So Peter closed his eyes, stepped up into the wardrobe, and let the fur of the coats brush against his cheeks. He found the side wall, slid down to sit and curled his knees up, hugging them under his chin. Then, he rested his head against the back of the wardrobe, and whispered, "Goodnight."