Spencer Reid x Reader Oneshots

I wanna know why

Warnings: Angst, ¡Season 13 Spencer!

Hands run up your arm soothingly. You were sitting and watching Spencer, while he watched you as well. There was a comfortable silence in the room as you were near a drift of sleep. You liked this, the peacefulness of being in his comfort. You didn't get very many nights like this since most of the time you were just a booty call, or mostly he was. 

Your friends with benefits had it's perks and what better way to use those perks than to relieve stress. The case had been stressful especially after Spencer had just came back off his 30 day leave from the BAU to teach.

But now sitting here in this silence was starting to make you a little crazy, by the way his delicate long fingers crossed your skin. "What are you doing?" You asked him with a small smile.

"Sorry." He drew his hand away. "I didn't mean-"

"It's fine Spence." You wanted to tell him to put his hand back, but lack of words caught you. You closed your eyes and tried to find sleep again.

"You're so beautiful..." Spencer whispered. 

You rolled over and tried not to listen. "Please don't start with that Spencer." It had become a regular thing and you couldn't help thinking that he was falling for you. 

Matter of fact you were falling for him as well, but you couldn't let yourself believe that. "I wanna know why Y/n." 

"Why what?" You turned back to face him. You were starting to get irritated and thought about leaving the room and sleeping in the living room.

Spencer licked his lips quickly before speaking. "Why you don't want to be in a relationship."

You rolled your eyes. "We talked about this Spencer, we said no strings attached, no feelings involved." 

"Are you scared of something?" He questioned. "And I know what you said but-"

"But what Spencer? Why won't you let it go?"

Spencer blurted his answer out, "B-because I'm in love with you." 

You sighed. You didn't want to be put in this conflict. You loved him as well, but you didn't want to do that to him. In all honesty you were scared. "Well I'm sorry you feel that way." You turned on your side in your bed. Spencer got up and put his clothes back on quickly. "Really?" You called out to him as he was already out of your room with his shoes in his hands. Your face fell into you hands and you looked at the clock. 

It was almost 3 in the morning, you knew that you needed to get some sleep, but you also knew that you wouldn't be able to sleep. You would toss and turn until morning where you'd get up and dress and go to work to face a problem that could've been solved. 

The team of course did not know about you and Spencer. They suspected, but never concluded. "Reid!" You called for Spencer. "Spencer I'm sorry!" You yelled as he hadn't turned around and he was actively avoiding you. 

"It's too late Y/n! You already said how you feel so let's just be friends. You obviously don't care about anyone else's feelings."

"I care about you Spence I do..."

"No Y/n! You don't care! I confessed my love for you! And all you could say was 'I'm sorry you feel that way'." Spencer said with a mix of emotions. Anger, sadness, regret.

Spencer started to walk away once more. You were glad that the hall was empty or else everyone would've saw the confrontation between the two of you. You took a second to get yourself together and then walked to the BAU bullpen. 

In these moments you hated being the desk right next to Spencer's. "Spencer please talk to me." You rolled your chair over to him. "How many times do you want me to say I'm sorry?" Only silence came from him. "Okay, you wanna know why I can't say I love you? The last time I said I love you to someone and meant it... was when I was with my ex-boyfriend who died in a car accident."

Spencer stopped scribbling on the piece of paper he was writing on. "I do everything in my power to make that feeling go away, because it was the last thing I'd ever said to him."

"What does that have to do with me?" Spencer questioned.

You shook your head and sighed. "I just don't want you to go. I care too much about you for you to get hurt, and I feel like every time I say I love someone they get hurt."

"I'm fine, I'm right here Y/n." Spencer scooted closer to you. 

You nodded and sniffed, you were crying now. "But for how long?" You wiped a loose tear away. 

"I'll be here forever if that's what you want." He tucked your loose hair behind your ear. "Nothing's gonna happen to me Y/n."

"Promise me." You whispered. "Promise you'll be safe."

Spencer's face washed with a small smile on his lips. "I promise you I'll be the safest that I can be."

You searched his eyes for deception, but found on adoration. "I love you." Your hand felt the stubble of his faint beard. The new Spencer didn't shave as often as he use to. 

Spencer took your hand that was touching his face and kissed the knuckles of your hand, something that meant a lot since he was a germ freak. You hugged him close from where you were in your chair. "I love you." You told him again. "I'm in love with you." 

"I love you too sweetheart. More than you'll ever know."

A/N: Um I was gone for a long time and I'm sorry. I was dealing with some school things and I didn't really have motivation. I still might not have a lot of motivation, but we'll see. How is everyone?