waves

1.  Moving

Allison!" My Mom called for the Fifth time. I wanted to reply but I was in so depth in my sleep.

 After a while I woke up and went to her, she was all very worked up. We were leaving India today, our country.

Okay, not exactly country but common its far away through the ways. As my Mum got her job transferred to Nachuge a small island in Andaman Nicobar.

as my mum is working on the docks, from where ships are departed, her transfer is frequent. She is an engineer, an expert of making parts of ships. And talking about nachuge, It’s an island of India.

I was not so excited to leave my city my friends but that’s all I had to do. I just hated the idea of new school that concludes to starring of people.

All of those weird thoughts, and making up my image in there minds, not that I really cared about what people think, though it scared me to face new people.

"Yes Mum I am just about to get ready now, will you calm down, please?" I told her.

"Baby it’s time to leave!" .Mum replied.

 "Mum I am just not too excited you know it right?" I sighed "I am getting ready in 5minutes , just wait a little bit".

 As we got to the airport I told my goodbye's to my friends and my city, I would always miss. From the time my dad passed away we lived in here .

I loved my dad and I missed him a lot. i felt so protective during those times of my life ,so free I hadn’t even cared about anything as I knew my dad was always there beside me.

But after he died world suddenly felt so unprotected. I wasn’t able to see my mother cry every moment. And be a little girl beside my mother reminding her about her responsibilities towards me I wanted her to smile again and feel free.

I had decided I had to protect her from all sorrows of life and hide all mine from her. She doesn’t deserve to feel sad about anything. So I decided that I had to be strong, Very strong, at least from outside for my mum.

So I built such an image of myself in Goa that I was bold and strong and ruled all over people we socialize here make them change there decisions for us and silently helped my mum and friends.

But honestly now I was tired of being bold, being strong and act as if I don’t care which is the worst part because I am the person who would even cry if a dog was hurt.

My mum knew that and first was really shocked to accept my change but I ignored her curiosity towards me and at last she gave up. But this new city we were heading to was a small city with less people  so I hoped that I would get a chance to be real me again. That thought made me cry. THE REAL ME. Would I be able to be myself again? As I always wanted to? I wish. But first I would have to judge all the people, know how they would be? Helpful? Or selfish?.

Sometimes life really sucks!. But its okay I would do anything for my mum she is the only one for me in this whole world.

As we landed the city named Port Blair we got our bags from the airport. And a man was waiting for us from my mother’s office to take us ,  to our new house. It was 113 km drive from Port Blair to Nachuge.

 The house was pretty good with a little garden at front and backyard .It had two bedrooms one on lower floor and one on upper .

i Choose upper one so that I can have little privacy. Tomorrow is my first day at school .For which I was extremely nervous honestly .I just wanted to be with myself .I wasn't yet ready to face anyone .I was not good at acceptance .and as yet I was adjusting my new place yet feeling home sick .

I can't get myself adjust to the thought of people at staring at me in new school and I wasn’t good at making friends at instance. But I loved friends so maybe I get some good people tomorrow. Listening to my ipod I tried to sleep but thoughts turn over my mind.

            New school, town and people. Suddenly I just hated the word new. I took deep breath and tried hard to  fall asleep. But sleep wont help me. Dreams wont let me forget my world for a while so I just thought to have a walk around  the garden in backyard.

It was way to more dark then I expected around the street almost scary. But being acting bold these years I have been over all my fears at least now I didn’t had fear of anything in this world. And I really loved this change it really feels strong.

Now I really belived the fact which says “lying to yourself and others, will once make you exactly what you lied about yourself once”. Yea it was something like that or at least  this is what it meant.

At last after a half an hour of walk I felt exhausted and went to my bed for some snoring sleep.

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A/N: okay so dont really know if i should continue this so i need opinions :)