The Young Gods (The Young Gods #1) [NEW DRAFT]

•capítulo trece // chapter thirteen•

"I'm sorry for this, you know."

Rufina shrinks away from the sound of his voice. Her emerald eyes regard him with such hatred that his chest starts to ache. He takes to looking around the room rather than looking at her, sure that something in him will snap if she keeps glaring at him that way. The cream wallpaper is so much less daunting, the gleaming wood floors a reprieve. The small chandelier above him sparkles, and Rufina's bed is decidedly unmade, blankets in a rumpled heap near the cherrywood footboard.

"His Majesty said it would be inappropriate to arrest a cousin. He's letting you stay in your home until further notice."

"You promised me," she whispers. "You promised me you wouldn't tell him."

"I know I did."

"You lied!" Her eyes brim with tears. "Don't you believe me? They killed Ramon! They-"

"Who?" he presses.

She shakes her head. Val heaves a sigh.

"Rufina, I can't help you if you won't tell me anything."

"If you knew, they'd only hurt you."

"I'm Head Sentinel. No one can hurt me."

"You think you have all the power." She laughs at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You have nothing. If you keep pressing, you'll know that soon enough."

He looks off to the side, contemplative for a while. Then he asks, "What did you mean when you brought up The Immortal Calls that day on the beach? You said that I would remember the cost of revealing secrets. What secrets don't you want to reveal?"

Rufina frowns, taking a seat by her bulging window, nestling herself amongst the pillows.

"That's why they're called secrets, Val," she explains, now oddly reserved. "It's because you keep them."

"Rufina-"

"It's better if you don't know. If I had to lose you- you- I'd go insane."

"Why?" He stares at her. "Why would you go insane if you lost me?" The depth of human emotions are so beyond him now that he can barely understand her.

"When you lost your madre, you screamed and cried. You tried to claw your own eyes out, Valentine. I'd never seen someone do that before until I almost did it to myself." She smiles, perhaps in earnest, green eyes unfocused. "If I almost did that when Ramon died, what do you think I would do if you were gone, too?"

"I'm... not sure," he replies.

She looks his way. "I'd do worse."

"Rufina-"

"I'm sorry that I tangled you up in all of this. Soon, you'll be asking questions you don't want the answers to." She curls up, kicking away her shoes, so unladylike that it makes Val give pause. He sometimes forgets how small she really is. "It's all my fault."

He almost wants to say something to her. Something, at the very least, would be better than nothing. He stares at her, drinking the sight of her in. What right does he have to confine her like an animal?

You must do what is right for this country, a whispering voice rasps to him. The muscles deep in his chest clench. Her voice always comes back to him when he thinks he's completely forgotten it. He can see her in front of him now, the last vestige of anything he could ever call family, reaching up to him with a shaking hand. Her eyes were grey and sapped of colour, her cheeks hollow. Aunt Tamsin, he whispered at the time. You can't leave me alone.

But she was adamant. You must do what is right for this country, she told him. It's all you have left. Swear it to me, little wolf.

He remembers now. He remembers that he has every right, because he is Head Sentinel, and he swore an oath.

In the end, he says nothing. He doesn't hover, doesn't linger.

He turns his back on Rufina and shuts the door behind him.