✣Show and Tell✣
Every time I make reviews on people's stories, I make a comment about how their story is "telling" when it should be "showing." It's very hard to explain that concept, and so I decided to dedicate a chapter explaining exactly what the difference is.
Let's start with TELL.
When you're the type of person who "tells" a story instead of "showing" it, then your story is really just telling what the plot is. It doesn't get any simpler than that. When you tell your plot, you're basically writing an essay with dialogue. Examples of "tell" stories would be: telling a friend about a dream or a nightmare you had one night, talking about a funny memory, or even gossiping about someone. Can you see the pattern? There is description, of course, but you're not pulling the reader to believe your claim. Your are simply "telling" but not "showing."
Now for SHOWING..
A good writer knows, whether he/she is aware of it or not, when their story is "showing" or "telling". And a good story should always "show", and never "tell". When you know the difference, then you know that to "show" a story you have to make everything come alive. Your can't make a claim and say that this character is badass. "Show" me he is badass; what makes him badass; prove it, and don't give me some wannabe attitude. Does that make sense?
Don't "tell" me that the moon is out; "show" me the glint of moonlight on a craggy slate of glass. Don't "tell" me that the sun is bright; "show" me the splash of sunshine reflecting fluorescent colors, warm to your pale cheeks. Don't "tell" me what a cool life you've got; "show" me how supportive your friends are, how and why you have such close relationships with you family, and what is it that makes your life so cool.
Sometimes "telling" is only good as a technique in the beginning of a story. For example, people nowadays like to begin their stories with a memory, a second-person-pov account or an overview of the character's past. It's a great technique too, but it's only good for a a short section of the story. Othertimes it becomes reoccuring, like a diary or journal. Now that would be understandable, but most stories stick to first-person-pov or third-person-pov. In both cases, the writer should always "show." Hopefully my examples would help you find sense in my rant.
[Example #1: Tell] Don't worry, it's pretty short.
Prologue
I never usually questioned my lilfe, but things are different now. A lot of things changed, and the consequences of that realization led me to believe that nothing will ever be the same. Life goes on, and we have to accept it. No matter how painful it is to leave behind the ones you love.
Chapter 1
I closed my eyes and shivered, trying to ignore the cold winds. The usually calm beach was raging, spraying water all over my face. The place brought back memories, but I pushed them away as much as I could. It's why you came here isn't it? I asked myself. I shook my head and opened my eyes, looking without really seeing far away. There is nothing here for me, not anymore. My life is a mess. I took another step forward, and noticed I was close to the edge of the cliff. More water washed over me, and I waited for the water to calm, before taking another step. Look, the sun is out. Do you really want to miss the beautiful things in life, waiting for you right now? Again, I shook my head. The only beauty I seek, is brighter than the sun.
"Lexi!" someone called me. I turned around and saw someone familiar running towards me. I forced a smile, "Lexi, stop!" Was it too late? I took a step forward, but instead of feeling steady ground, my feet fell under me, and I was falling. Pain hit me like ice, and then suddenly, I was covered in warmth. I forced my eyes open and saw Jared looking down at me. "What-what are you doing? Are you crazy? Did you want me to jump in there after you?"
"You'd do that?" I asked him. He rolled his eyes and hugged me.
"Of course, stupid. I love you." I smiled at him, and hugged him back.
"I love you."
[Example #2: Show] Blech, I don't usually write things so touchy. Bear with me, I'm not proofreading this.
Prologue
I never used to question my lilfe, but things are a lot more different now. His face was once a pretty picture, a cornerstone of my childhood. As the years passed, however, I noticed things I never saw before. Like how my heart would jump start a race that I couldn't control, or how self-conscious I'd be around him while with other people, I couldn't care less how I appeared. Or even, how suddenly important his opinion mattered, and a simple smile or laugh could turn my whole day around. Yeah, things changed, and the consequences of that realization led me to believe that my life will never be the same as long as I'm head over heels for my best friend. Life goes on, and we learn to accept it. No matter how painful it is to leave behind the ones you love.
Chapter 1
I closed my eyes from the pouring rain, and trembled slightly from the cold winds that followed. The usually calm beach was raging like a wildfire, spraying water all over my already wet face. The place brought back happy memories, but I pushed them away as much as I could. It's why you came here isn't it? I asked myself. I shook my head and opened my eyes, looking far beyond at the horizon where a hint of gold outlined the dark oceans. There is nothing here for me, not anymore. My life is a mess.
I took another step forward with my bare feet, and noticed I was close to the edge of the cliff. Foamy waves pulled in until they swallowed my toes, spraying more water over me. It sank back down, revealing large boulders of jagged rock. I waited for the water to calm, before taking the final step. Look, the sun is out, my thoughts interrupted. Do you really want to miss the beautiful things in life, waiting for you right now? Again, I shook my head slightly. The only beauty I seek, is brighter than the sun.
"Lexi!" a familiar voice called. The sound of it seemed to warm me despite the rain that had chilled me to the bone; I almost thought I was dreaming. I turned around anyways, and didn't bother with hiding my shock when a familiar figure came running towards me. I forced a smile.
"Lexi, stop!" Was it too late? I didn't understand what he was so frantic about, but I took another step. A gasp escaped my lips when suddenly, my feet gave way beneath me and I was falling. It all seemed to happen so fast, it was like being stuck in a nightmare. Before long, something incredibly painful seared my head, and then warmth enveloped me. Complete and utter warmth.
I tried to move, but a heavy pressure prevented me. My eyes fluttered open and that's when I noticed Jared hovering over me with a hand on my cheek.
"Lexi," he breathed. "What-what were you doing? Are you crazy? Did you want me to jump in there after you?"
"You'd...do that?" I asked him.
Jared rolled his eyes and reached a hand out to pull me closer in his arms. His warm breath surrounding me like a blanket. "Of course, stupid. I love you."
I mirrored his smile, and squeezed his hand in response. "I love you."
So I'm not a great writer myself, so if this wasn't your type of story genre, than sorry if you had to endure that; but I hope that you got to see the difference between "telling" a story and "showing" it.
