Through Fire and Water (A Legolas Love Story)

Not Necessarily What I Want

It takes Legolas even less time than I expected for him to visit me. I am stood, staring into the empty draws of the dresser in my room, considering what I will need to bring with me, when there is a tentative knock on the door.

“Come in” I call and the door opens. At first I think it’s going to be dad, come to convince me not to go, but the lightness of the footsteps that I hear immediately informs me that it is not.               I look up to see Legolas stood in the doorway, looking as gorgeous as ever. He closes the door behind him and I smile warmly, closing the draw and saying “Hi”

“Hi” he says back, looking a little awkward. Something is obviously on his mind.

“What’s up?” I ask cheerily, leaning against the nearby windowsill. He crosses the room to come and stand with me, looking out across the landscape. I know he’s working up the courage to say whatever it is he came to say so I give him his silence for a moment, filling my time with carefully memorising every single little detail of his perfect face.

“Don’t go” he says at last, still looking out of the window and not at me.

“What?”

“Don’t go with Gandalf and Pippin”

“I expect this from my father, but not from you. I suppose you think it’s too dangerous for me to be out there without someone looking out for me all the time, just like Aragorn does” I snap, a little annoyed at him.

“No. No. Oh Ana, don’t be like that. I just meant… I just meant I’ll miss you” he says, trying to wrap his arms around me but I tense against his touch.

“I’m an individual, you know that, I can do what I want” I say, relaxing into him slightly, leaning against his shoulder.

“I know” he says, laughing slightly “That’s part of the reason I love you”

Oh… Oh god… My heart leaps at those words. But not necessarily in a good way.

“What did you say?” I whisper, not entirely sure if I heard him right and not entirely sure if I want to be right. “I love you” he says again. I am silent, terrified. Do I have to say it back now? But… I don’t want to say it back, not yet. But I don’t want to hurt him by not saying it. What if he leaves me if I don’t say it? What if it ruins everything? I don’t want things to change.

“I…”  I manage to say, but any other words are not forthcoming and so I trail off into silence again. I pull away from his arms and stand in front of him, looking into his eyes. “Oh Legolas…” I manage to say, still at a loss for anymore. I don’t think I have ever been more scared. Why does everything have to be so complicated? I don’t want to say yes! Alright? I just… I don’t want to lose him.

“It’s alright” he says, putting his hands on my upper arms “You don’t have to say it back. I don’t mind. Nothing has to change between us”

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t have to lose him. Nothing has to change. I throw myself into his arms, holding him close. “Thank you” I whisper.