Through Fire and Water (A Legolas Love Story)

And Then the World Came Crashing Down

“What?” I ask, refusing to let it sink in.

“I’m sorry Ana” Legolas says. I stare at him, uncomprehending. Refusing to let myself believe it.

“But he’s alright isn’t he? We can just go down and pick him up because he’s still alright and he’s still alive”

“I’m sorry” Théoden says, looking sorrowfully at me.

“No. No, he’s fine and any minute now he will just walk up to us and be fine and we will have worried for nothing”

“That’s not going to happen” Legolas says. His voice is trembling slightly and I go quiet, gasping for air as I go dizzy and the world starts spinning.

“Get the wounded on horses” Théoden commands his men “The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead”

Both my and Legolas’s heads look straight at him. We glare at him with a mixture of confusion and anger. Théoden looks at us apologetically, he puts a hand on Legolas’s shoulder “Come” he says.

I feel like I’m drowning. The world comes crashing down all around me and I lose all control of my senses and actions.

“Leave?! We can’t just leave!” I yell at Théoden “What about Aragorn?! What about my father?! You can’t just expect me to leave him here! What if he’s alive and hurt?! And if he’s… and if he is is…. Dead…. Then I need to bury him! He deserves that much at least!” My voice turns into a scream and I lunge out at Théoden, trying to claw at the man who told me to leave my father behind. Legolas catches hold of me before I reach the king however and he holds my arms as I scream. I shake myself free of him and take the few steps to the edge of the cliff where I look down at the rushing water. But there is no sign of my father.

“So he’s down there” I say as my whole body shakes with sobs which start to come “He’s down there and I never get to see him again unless I follow him”

“Ana… step away from the edge” Legolas says quietly, looking at me with fear in his eyes.

“Why should I? He is down there. If I go there then I can find him”

“Ariana, please step away. Just come down and we’ll talk” he says desperately.

“What good will talking do?! What can words do? Because they can’t bring my father back. The man who saved me when I was 3 years old and raised me, loved me like I was his own flesh and blood! But he’s gone now!” I scream, staring down at the river “What is the point in staying if he is gone? All that’s left up here is pain and I don’t want to feel that. I could just step off and I would have him again. It’s a simple thing to do” Behind me I hear Legolas take a pace towards me but I stop him in his tracks by taking a small step so that I am on the very edge now. “Take another step forwards, elf boy, and I’ll jump” I yell over my shoulder. I sense Legolas stop still at my words, not willing to test if I am bluffing which I most certainly am not.

“Ariana... Please come down. Come down and we’ll talk about this. This isn’t going to solve anything. What would Aragorn want you to do?” he says and I can tell that everyone’s eyes are riveted on us.

“It doesn’t matter what Aragorn would want me to do because Aragorn isn’t here!” I yell, staring down at the water, a long way below.

“Please, just step away, please” I hear Legolas say. His voice is thick with the tears he wants to shed for my father and with fear for me. The world is spinning and I feel myself starting to sway as I struggle to remain standing.

“I can’t” I say, sounding small and scared “If I come down then I have accepted he is gone” I know it makes no sense but I’m not thinking straight, I’m just trying to cling to the idea that I can get him back. All I can see is him. It’s like there is a slideshow of all the times we had together running through my head. “I don’t want life to move on. I don’t want to live in a world where I don’t have him”

Suddenly there are arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me away from the edge. I scream as Legolas drags me back from the cliff, yelling curses at him as loud as I can in both the common tongue and in elvish, trying to break free.

“Get off me! Get off me, get off me, get off me!!!!!!”

Eventually he judges we are a safe distance from the edge and he stops pulling me as my curses turn to screams and I stop struggling and go limp, hanging loosely in his arms as I vocalise my pain in a series of inarticulate sounds. Slowly the screams turn to tears and I turn around and sob onto Legolas’s chest as he holds me close. His arms normally make me feel safe but not now, now I barely feel them.

“Legolas, we need to leave” Théoden says. Legolas scoops me up in his arms and gently places me onto our horse which has been brought to us. He gets up on the saddle in front of me and pulls my arms around his waist.

“Don’t let go of me” he says, taking the reins and riding off with the rest of the riders. Everyone who didn’t fight went on ahead of us.

“Never” I whisper.

I close my eyes as we ride, shutting out the real world and clinging to Legolas tightly, desperately trying to hold on to him so that life doesn’t take him from me too.