July 7 [MarkDy] ✔️

07.07.17

WENDY

July 7 of last year was the worst visit. I cut our conversation short by singing a changed lyric of "Fly," so I could leave in a cool manner. I didn't want him to see me in tears when I left. I've been thinking about how hopeful I was that Mark would not have a girlfriend anytime soon. 

I definitely feel like a fool. 

I also can't help but feel that what I sang last time relates to me. As Keyshia Cole sings in "Love":

"But I won't waste my time tryin' to figure out."

"What you see in her, you ain't seen in me."

"But I guess it was all just make-believe."

"Who would have known I'd find you?"

Now, I should listen to Justin Bieber and love myself. Mark found someone he likes, and I love that. Truly. But these July 7 visits feel weird in retrospect. Does his girlfriend know?

I can rationalize this. Mark and I are friends—just friends. The reason I felt giddy about him is that he's an idol. His job is thrilling! And he liked my singing. I look up to him because he encouraged me to sing more. Outside of high school choir, I hardly sang. I wanted to focus on dentistry. But now I try to show off my skills in karaoke. 

Mark can date whoever he wants. It's not exactly surprising that he got cuffed, given that he can mingle with other talented and beautiful girls. His line in "Girls Girls Girls" is true: Every lady wants a piece of him.

It was silly of me to think that he would date me once his dating ban is over. Even if it is over, I'd still be living miles away from him as a Canadian university student. A long-distance relationship is too hard; dating an idol is too hard. Mark is better off dating another idol because she'll understand his tight schedule and cope with not being able to see him. 

♫♫♫

Overthinking on the plane ride sure does make time go by faster. I'm now in the comfort of my home, waiting for the evening to come. This time, I'm more excited about singing than talking to Mark. Let's keep the conversation brief and casual! That is, if he shows up. He might've forgotten since he's dating Rosé now. 

♫♫♫

Now that I'm in the karaoke room, I have to pick a song. One artist that always lifts my spirits is Jessie J. I know her entire discography by heart. I sing my lungs out to one of my favorites: "Price Tag."

MARK

Wendy sings, "Everybody, look to their left. Everybody, look to their right." Following the lyrics, she looks to her left and her right. I do the same. 

Before she raps B.o.B's part, I clap for her. She looks behind and pauses the song. 

"You saved me from rapping atrociously," she says. 

"I could give you a few pointers," I reply. 

Her lips curve upward, revealing her pearly whites. "I need all the help I can get, and you'd be a good mentor. Your rapping bits in 'Hard Carry' and 'Never Ever' were catchy."

"I'm glad you've been keeping up with our comebacks and enjoying them."

She tells me, "Of course! I'm an Ahgase, after all," which brings a smile to my face.