Consequences

Prologue

Ian's POV

Laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling and thinking about last night, I can't help but smile. When I left the house last night I had no idea what was waiting for me and looking back, I wouldn't change a thing about it.

"Ian, where are the towels?" her sweet voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"By the door."

"Ok, thanks." She says, and a few seconds later she exits the bathroom, her naked body covered by my towel, and I gulp.

"You can take whatever you want from my closet if you need. And I'm going to make coffee. Do you want a cup?" I ask, knowing that there's no way I'm going to stay here, seeing her getting dressed, without, at least, smashing my lips on hers, and right now I don't know where we stand so I think it's better if I leave.

"Yes, please. I'll be down in a sec." she says and I leave the bedroom.

I have no idea what is going to happen. I surely don't want to act like last night didn't happen but I don't know what she wants so I guess we'll have to talk about it.

We've been friends for years but I can't keep pretending that that's all. Back in the beginning of the show, we kinda dated but after a while, she told me we should stay friends for the sake of Ezria and the show. At the time it made sense. I knew where she was coming from and I accepted it, but every single day my feelings for her grow a little stronger and that frightens me.

For years, I had to act like as if I didn't love her... as if she was just my friend but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been waiting for last night since our last night together, many years ago. Even though things could have happened many times, through the years, it never went further than a few make-out sessions.

"Hey." She says as she walks into the kitchen wearing one of my shirts and her shorts, and I can't help but notice how it looks way better on her.

"Take a seat, breakfast is almost ready." I tell her as I give her her coffee.

A few minutes later I hand her a plate with scrambled eggs and bacon and sit in front of her.

"So..." I start, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah..." she says, embarrassed.

I want to take her in my arms and ask her to stay, to give us a chance. I want to kiss her until our lips are numb and get lost in her body again. I want to tell her how much I love her and how it killed me to pretend that I didn't for years. I want to ask her to stay, to let me make her as happy as she makes me.

I want to tell her how much I want to wake up to her every day for the rest of my life, to be there for her when she needs me and when she doesn't, to tell her how amazing she is, to love her.

I want to tell her all those things but I wonder if it's too soon... if it'll scare her and she'll run away, so I try to stay calm and not to get my hopes too high.

"I'm sorry about last night." She starts, and my heart sinks, "I had too much wine, I was feeling down and..."

"So it didn't mean anything to you?" I cut her off. Trying to sound nonchalant, I ask the dreadful question... the question that will dictate our future.

"I'm sorry." She simply says, "But... I don't want this to change anything between us. We're still friends, right?"

"I don't know... I really don't know." I say and sigh.

I wasn't expecting this. Maybe thinking that we would be together was too good but hearing her say that it didn't mean anything to her felt like a stab in the heart.

"Ian..." she whispers, looking at me in the eyes, moving closer to me and taking my hands in hers. "I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you." She says, and I can see the fear in her eyes behind all the tears.

Seeing her like this breaks my heart. She has me wrapped around her finger and sometimes I'm not sure that's good.

Not trusting my voice I just hug her. I probably shouldn't give up so easily but the truth is I can't lose her either. I need her just as much as I need oxygen and losing her would be the end of me. I only want her to be happy and if her happiness isn't with me then I guess I'll have to try to accept that and move on.

"It's ok." I say once I feel her tears on my shirt, running my hand through her hair. "It's going to be ok." I say, trying to soothe her.

But the truth is I don't know if it'll be ok. I don't know if things can ever be the same. I don't know if I can keep my feelings in check any longer...