My best friend's bad crush... on me (boyxgirl)

His touch

*Aiden's point of view*

Riley and I were walking home talking like everyday. I wasn't as relaxed as usually, but she didn't seem to notice it. She kept telling me about this guy of our grade, who I hated since the first time she told me she was crushing on him a few days ago, and it was driving me insane.

"I mean his hair is just gorgeous. I wanna ruffle through it all day." "Mhm", I just responded. She could ruffle through my hair all day. She did it from time to time and I loved it. I wish she did it more often. "What are you so grumpy about? You sound like you don't even care", she told me. "I just had a rough day", I lied. "How?", she wanted to know. "My grades aren't the best and I'm having a headache", I continued lying. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's gonna get better", she told me and I thanked her in a careless voice.

We were walking down the last hill as she suddenly stopped. "Damn, my bra opened", she stated. She put her bag down and with her back turned to the wall next to us, she pulled up her shirt at her back and tried closing her bra.

I just looked away. I was jealous of the guy who would be able to take off her bra while lying in bed with her one day. After a few seconds she asked: "Can you help me? It isn't working." I looked at her. Had she just asked me to close her bra? I became a little nervous, but I responded a calm "sure" and she turned her back to me. I swallowed at the sight of her naked back. I wanted to slide my fingers all the way over it, but instead I carefully took the two ends of her bra between my fingers.

I was about to close it, but the urge to touch her was too intense. Before I could even really think about it, I let go of her bra and shoved my hands under it to wrap them around her breasts. I heard her let out a small sigh. She probably hadn't expected it all. And neither had I.

I slowly started realizing that my hands were actually holding her breasts and I started feeling them by slightly moving my fingers. "Did you just...?", Riley started questioning without a movement. I could tell she was shocked. Even though touching her like this made me feel better than ever, I knew it was wrong and I eventually pulled my hands back and closed her bra before pulling down her shirt.

She was my best friend. How could I have done this? I was ashamed as I stared at the path before us, instantly regretting the reaction.

Riley picked up her bag and I started walking silently. She followed me, obviously not knowing what to say either. I was glad it were only two more minutes walking from here. After about a minute, Riley asked: "Why did you do this?" Why did she think I had done it? I didn't want to respond and just stayed silent. A few seconds later she asked: "Do you love me?" I eventually stopped and turned to her. As calm as possible I responded: "Of course I love you."

Riley was looking at me with her beautiful blue eyes. Her light brown hair was simply hanging down and it was looking so pretty, as always. "I mean, are you in love with me?", she asked. I knew she was trying to stay calm and keep a clear head. I knew her better than anyone, so I knew how sensitive she was. Still she sounded more serious than I had thought she would be able to in this situation.

I just wanted to ignore her question, but of course she knew the answer herself already. "Yes", I responded quietly. She looked to the side. "How could you just touch me like that?", she almost whispered. I could tell that I had hurt her and my heart dropped. "I'm so sorry", I told her honestly, but it took a while until she looked at me again and responded: "I thought we told each other everything."

I noticed her tearing up. Oh no, don't cry because of me. "I know, I'm really sorry... I just didn't know how... And then you told me about Ian." Ian was the guy she was crushing on. "Don't talk about Ian now. He doesn't have anything to do with how you feel about me." "Look, I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Yes, you you should have!", she suddenly yelled. "You can't just suddenly touch me like that. How could you do that?", she repeated quietly and she eventually started crying. "Riles, don't...", I said. I didn't know if she would let me wipe away her tears, but I at least had to try. I stepped closer to her and slid my thumbs over her face under her eyes. She didn't flich or move away and I smiled a little out of relief.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened", I explained not smiling anymore and looking into her eyes. She was looking into mine, too. "It's fine", she whispered. "Just don't do it again." My heart broke at her last sentence. 'Just don't do it again.' She didn't want me to touch her like that. But I needed it. I felt like I needed it. Holding her breasts had felt so good. How could she expect me to never do it again?

I didn't know if I could promise her not to give into my sexual desire again. Yet I knew I had to if I didn't want to lose her. I nodded silently. I would try to hold back. I had to.