Freak

Chapter Eight

After what feels like forever, but probably wasn't more than 20 minutes, a young-looking nurse with dark hair comes into the room. She's wearing bright white medical scrubs, which match the white walls of the hospital room.

She looks at me, stunned. "Alice, honey? You're awake?!" she asks frantically.

Stupid question, I can't help but think. But I reply out loud, "Yeah. Um, yeah, I'm awake." I try to clear my voice, but I'm still having trouble speaking.

"Doctor Foreman! She's awake! Alice; she's awake!" she says running out the door. Then she turns around and says, "Wait! The father!"

My father was just opening his eyes.

"Sir, your daughter, she's awake!" she says to him. "Wake up, sir!"

My guess was this nurse didn't have much experience.

I hear footsteps coming from the hall outside the door and then a deep voice. The voice I heard in wonderland talking to my parents about me. "Marie, calm down, please. What was this you were saying? Who's awake?"

My father, finally realizing what was going on, got up and ran to me, embracing me in his arms. "Alice! Oh God, Alice, you came back... Do you know how scared I was for you, Alice? Oh, baby girl, I love you so much... Never leave me again, baby," he says as I feel tears spill onto my head from him. He keeps me in his arms tightly, as if letting go of me would result in him losing me again.

"Daddy...I missed you too." I'm on the verge of tears as well. "Where's mom?"

"She went home to rest...it was my turn to spend the night here with you. Should I go call her...?" he asked reluctantly, me still in his arms.

"Don't worry about that, Mr. David, we'll take care of it for you.  We have someone calling your wife for you right now," says the deep voice. I realize that the voice belongs to the doctor, Doctor Foreman, I heard the nurse call him.

"Oh my God, Alice, I love you so much..." my father says. "I'm so happy you're back, Alice. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too," I say. I'm not saying it out of habit, or because I have to because he's my father. I'm saying it because it's true. "But daddy, what happened? Why am I here? In the hospital?"

My father finally lets go of me and looks at the doctor. "How much does she remember?" he asks, wiping tears from his face.

Dr. Foreman replies, "It's actually quite remarkable that she remembers you at all. Patients out in a coma for this long are usually much, much more confused. Some even forget who they are, for a couple of days, or longer. Alice, can you tell me what the last thing you remember is?"

"Well...I remember eating breakfast. Or actually, I don't think I ate. Did I? Or did I...?" I was about to ask if I threw the food away, but then I remembered that I hadn't told anybody about that habit of mine.

 "Or did you what, Alice?" Doctor Foreman asks.

Don't say anything. Now that you've left wonderland, the least that you can do is keep your mouth shut and not eat. Don't you dare tell them your secrets.

"You can tell me anything, honey. Just tell me what you think you did." My father takes my cold hands into his, warm and strong, making me feel better.

"Did I...?"

Shut. Your. Mouth.

"DidIthrowmyfoodaway?" I ask quickly, jumbling my words together.

 "Did you what?" the doctor asks.

"Did you...throw your food away?" my father says.

The nurse looks concerned. "What on earth is she talking about?"

"Have you been throwing your food away?" my dad asks.

Say no.

"I...yes," I manage.

The doctor looks worried, but then hides it after a couple seconds. After he does that, my father and the nurse quickly take the hint and do the same. "No, you didn't throw your food away, on that day at least. Actually, you didn't want to eat. And then you ran up the stairs but fell down them before you reached the top. Do you think you might've fell down because of the illusions you have? That they might've confused you and caused you to fall?"

 "Um...maybe? I have no idea. I don't remember any of what you just said. But I don't know, I mean, I've been really confused with stairs before.  Sometimes they look, like, never-ending.  And I get really scared," I say.

"But the illusions haven't happened recently, right?" my father asks.

Oh, right. I forgot how much I've deceived the people I love.

"Actually..." I say slowly, finding it hard to admit all the lies that I'd told, "they never went away. They've been getting worse, really."

"But...you told us you were getting better," my father says, obviously confused.

My eyes fill with tears, threatening to spill over. I know that the moment I speak, they'll begin to fall, but I don't care. "I just wanted you and mom to be happy. When I told you I was getting better, you both seemed so proud... Jennifer, too."

"Alice, honey, you didn't have to lie to us...we just want you to get better. It's not about us. Oh, Alice, don't cry..." my dad says, trying to soothe me.

"It's alright. Just try to relax," Dr. Foreman says.

The door suddenly bursts open. I see a flash of red hair and know immediately who it is.

"Mommy!" I call out.

"Alice!" she says back, running over and taking me into her arms, a similar reaction to my father. "Are you alright, Alice?"

"Yes, now that you're here. I missed you, mom..."

The doctor looks confused and mumbles to the nurse, "She missed her? How'd she even know she was out?"

"Alice, I love you so much. You know that, right?" my mother asks as my father joins us in our awkward group hug over me in my hospital bed.

The nurse says quietly, "Don't you think we should leave them alone?"

The doctor clears his throat and says to my parents and I, "We'll come back later. Occasionally Marie will be back to check on you. If you need anything, anything at all, call me.  Alice, if you remember anything, please tell someone immediately."

"Alright," my mother says. "Dr. Foreman, Marie...thank you for taking care of my daughter."

"No problem, Mrs. David, we're more than happy," Dr. Foreman replies and then walks out of the room.

Marie walks up to me, smiling, and whispers in my ear, "I know you can get better, honey," and then follows the doctor.

"So, we've got a lot to catch up on," I say to my parents after she's gone, a slight smile on my face.

Good try, but this isn't over, the voice in my head says as my stomach sinks. But the voice is much, much quieter. Maybe Marie is right. Maybe I can get better. Maybe.